Okay, right off the bat I want to mention that this spam email is not interesting or funny in any way EXCEPT that it is:
Hope you are well.
HOPE YOU ARE WELL TOO AKON
OH NO! I haven't received any prior emails from you, Akon. What's up with that? I feel like I definitely would have remembered if I received an email from Senegalese American R&B and hip-hop recording artist Akon. (checks junk email folder) Nope. Nothing. I guess it's lost in cyberspace, huh, Akon? LOL. Seriously though I feel bad about this, like we're off on the wrong foot.
I am DEFINITELY interested in your services. I want you to sing at my birthday party. Is that what this is about?
"He is good at singing choruses and also at web development." - Gwen Stefani
"When we collaborated on 'Sexy Bitch,' he was nice." - David Guetta
It's YOUR positivity that's contagious, Akon. I feel like this is the start of a lifelong business and also personal relationship. As such I would like you to redesign my website and also to be my best friend and I will be in all your music videos drinking champagne and actin' the fool because I have made so much money thanks to my site redesign. If you feel like that's a great idea let's shake on it.