Thursday, April 25, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: tee shirts order

I'm not sure if you're looking for t-shirts or shirts with pictures of golf tees on them. Either way, we have it all here at T-/TEE SHIRT EMPORIUM the weekly newspaper.

I want to know whether you can have blank tee shirts for sale?

When you're looking for blank t-shirts, there are two ways to go about it:

1) Email sporadically until you find someone who sells blank t-shirts. "You're never going to find out if you don't ask." - Tee "Shirt" Johnson, inventor of the t-shirt

2) Go to a t-shirt store or visit a website likely to sell t-shirts.

The first way is better. BUT, we don't sell blank t-shirts here at this particular newspaper. :( Only graphic t-shirts with witty phrases like "Newspapers: it's what's for breakfast," and "Hey Internet, virus much?"

am looking for blank tee shirts with no screen printing.

You should repeat yourself again because I didn't understand what you said the first or second time. Are saying you want blank t-shirts or t-shirts with lots of stuff on them or pants?

Below is what am looking for.

What?

Break down is the colors am looking for.

Oh.

Brand ::Gildan

Maybe since you know the brand of t-shirts you want you should contact that company directly? No? You'd rather email someone at a weekly newspaper instead? Okay, either way should prove productive.

Size     ::Adult Small
Color    ::500 Light Blue and 500 Maroon
             ::50/50 % Cotton/Polyester
Qtys     ::1000


Wtf re: this t-shirt order? It is so specific and weird. Hello, newspaper? Yes, I'd like to order 1,000 blank t-shirts, half the color light blue and the other half maroon, polyester blend, for a large group of tiny adult non-professionals who will be competing against each other in a team-building obstacle course. I don't have any t-shirts but put me down for $50 on the maroon team.

Let me know the total cost without shipping.

Who picks up his own large blank t-shirt order? What is this, 1993? I'M INCLUDING SHIPPING.

Thank you
Gary Powell
Call # 210 399 6***


I blacked out the other numbers for Gary's sake. But I did call the actual number. After like seven rings the line picked up, and 10 seconds after that I hear in the distance, "Hello? ... Hello?" Then I hung up. I was going to yell "I GOT YOUR T-SHIRTS FOOL!" before I hung up, but I got scared. Darn, I should have done that. I am at work, by the way.

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