Thursday, April 18, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: I'm Syrian little girl 15 yrs old a war victim.

Guys, this is serious. Usually I like to joke around about the weird spam emails I get, but there's no joking around about a 15-year-old Syrian girl who is a war victim but who also uses email. What is your name, "little girl" who is 15?

From: test [test@blanch.org.uk]

Just to recap, you are a 15-year-old Syrian girl named Test who is a war victim and also your email address is test@blanch.org.uk. I don't want to give a history lesson here, but when Great Britain occupied Syria during the War That Never Happened, all the email addresses were transferred over.

I'm Syrian little girl 15 yrs old a war victim.

The one thing about 15-year-old Syrian girls who are war victims is that they're kind of redundant. It's like, we get it, you're a war victim. Get over yourself lolz j/k.

I need your help after my parents and little brother was killed.

Oh my that is terrible. Hopefully I can help since I am publications manager at a weekly newspaper in Arizona. Maybe you would like a comped six-month subscription? Would that make you feel better? Actually, I can do three months.

I've discovered documents that my parents has deposited 18.5 Million Pounds for investment in Europe.

Your parents: We have 18.5 million pounds that we'd like to invest in Europe.

Financial adviser: Europe is a continent and not a commodity.

Your parents: Please take this money and spread it all over Europe and see what happens.

Financial adviser: What will happen is that it will get lost, and wet, and other people will take it immediately.

Your parents: Have already left building.

This fund can give me new hope to survive.I need you to assist me receive the funds so that I will come over to your country and live.

Syrian girls can be so naive sometimes! I can't just receive funds like that; it doesn't make any sense. You're going to need my routing number, duh.

My condition is ugly and dont know how to explain it, it's traumatic !

I think you've explained it pretty well. Family killed, money transfer ... I have a grasp.

please help !

Chillax, I will! I mean I won't!

Email me back through this email: sarina1@asia.com

@ASIA?? What are you doing in Asia, Test? And why isn't your name Test anymore? And that email address is ridonk. Email me through this email: person@earth.com. Here is a list of the countries/continents associated with this email:

Syria (war)
Great Britain (where Test lives)
Europe (investment)
Asia (where Sarina lives)
America ("your country")

Yours Sincerely,
Ms. Sarina


This has been quite insincere and that's not even your name. But I have received the funds and you can live at our house in America when you're ready and then I will give you the funds and everything will be cool. Oops my bad, turns out my wife is not okay about a 15-year-old Syrian girl with two weird names staying with us so we spent the money at Sam's Club. Sorry :(

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