Thursday, August 23, 2012

Spam email of the week

RE:hey there

One of my absolute favorite spam email ploys is the "Re:," as if I had sent previous correspondence to "hotmail_92a69537fb6f718a@live.com; on behalf of; victorontop@yahoo.co.uk" about "hey there." Let's see how he responded to my original email that I never sent. (Note: I am no longer protecting the identity of the spambots.)

hun be healthy be happy be successful this is how

I am "hun," I guess, also known as "Hon," which is short for honey, which is an appropriate way to refer to someone over email whom you have never met or talked to before or anything. Also, this must be my lucky day because I was just sitting here and all of a sudden I got this email that contains the secret to health, happiness, and success! The secret to all those things is a website! Although, it should be noted that my happiness as it relates to this specific email would involve, simply, a comma.

http://t.co/0y8UALBl

As much as I want to be healthy, happy, and successful, I did not click on that link lest it reveal a webpage of an evil kitten with red eyes and then our server crashes. Still, there is more to this email, so possibly we will be clued in to the secrets of the universe, thus bypassing God.

I finally restored that firebird that's been sitting on cinder blocks for months when i first saw this i couldnt believe what i was seeing

What the crap does that even mean? The secret to health, happiness, and success is a restored Firebird sitting on cinder blocks? If that is true, I was so far off in my quest for happiness it's not even funny. (I was looking for rainbows and gold.) Is the website a link to a Firebird? You couldn't believe what you were seeing? I want click on it so bad right now! This junk email has succeeded in its mission! Don't click it, don't click it ... argh!

...

I clicked it. It's a link to a "CNBC" "article" about how a Phoenix mom earns $7,219 per month part-time. Guys, that is amazing! I have quit my job. Also, the article includes the cure to every disease, I am assuming ... haven't read all of it yet, was busy quitting my job to earn tons of money "using the Internet." I am so happy right now. Nothing on there about a Firebird, but I imagine what hotmail_92a69537fb6f718a@live.com; on behalf of; victorontop@yahoo.co.uk was trying to say was that he/she/it has so much time on his/her/its hands from working only part-time using the Internet, that he/she/it now has ample time to the restore a Firebird and put it on cinder blocks. So for everyone who clicked on that link, enjoy your happiness, health, success, and newfound freedom to restore your vehicle of choice! Please send me a picture of your vehicle on cinder blocks so I can express my disbelief.

I trust this entire thing has been well worth everyone's time.

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