Thursday, August 16, 2012

Classic card of the week



 Rick Hunolt, 1991 ROCKCARDS

Before we begin, I must acknowledge So, Do You Like ... Stuff? blog No. 1 friend and partaker, Bill, for passing along this gem (and many others, coming soon). This was sent along with the message, "I have no idea where I got these," which, yeah, sure, Bill. Rick Hunolt cards don't just magically appear -- this isn't some fantasy world we're living in. It's okay this card was stashed in a fireproof box in a location known only to you, and that you wore latex gloves while scanning it. Nobody here is judging.

So there's not much to say here except EVERYTHING. Pretty sure that extremely big wristband is a cut-up tube sock. That is also the smallest tattoo I think I've ever seen. I mean, Rick Hunolt -- you're a heavy metal guitarist. If you're going to get a tattoo, get a tattoo. Of course, all of this is forgiven thanks to the denim vest with no undershirt and the creepy, crazed look of intrigue. What's that, Rick Hunolt? Would I like to join you on the tour bus? Sure, what's the worst that could happen .. Also, little known fact: Rick Hunolt had the most hair of anyone who was completely bald in history.

If you can even believe the front of this card is something that exists, there is also a back.


SPECIALTY: GUITAR

The very sharp guitar Rick is holding on the front of the card kind of gave that away, but thanks. Something tells me -- I think it's the look in his eyes -- that Rick's specialty isn't ONLY guitar. His looks says, "I have another specialty ... in my pants." Those pants, by the way, are totally Zubaz. He's wearing a turtleneck with Zubaz. And the ROCKCARDS seal of authenticity seems to be covering his package. My world is collapsing onto itself and I am trapped in the rubble of awesomeness.

BIRTHDAY: JULY 1

No year necessary. Rock stars are immortal.

NICKNAME: SICK RICK

That's kind of cool, actually. Was the name Slick Rick a nod to Rick Hunbolt or vice versa? Or were those nicknames somehow mutually exclusive?

PROFILE: RICK HUNOLT FORMS ONE OF METAL'S MOST LETHAL GUITAR DUOS ALONG WITH EXODUS SIX-STRING PARTNER GARY HOLT.

It's difficult for me to declare just ONE metal guitar duo the most lethal, but if I absolutely had to, gun to my head, I would probably agree with that sentiment. Wikipedia adds,

{Hunbolt} subsequently performed on all their albums in the 1980s and 1990s, sharing leads with original member Gary Holt (together known as the "H-team")

The term "H-team," for me at least, takes away a little of the lethalness. That sounds like a nickname two third-grade boys with similar last names decided to call themselves on the playground.

THIS BERKELEY-BORN THRASH MASTER

Almost positive that is the first and only time that phrase has ever been used in the history of the English language.

LISTS MICHAEL SCHENKER, PRINCE AND AL DIMEOLA AMONG HIS MAIN INSPIRATIONS.

Secondary inspirations include Ghandi, the guy who painted Mona Lisa, and Peabo Bryson.

So anyway, this card is funny to me because I know nothing about Rick Hunolt or Exodus -- except for the album Shovel Headed Kill Machine, obvs -- or heavy metal in general, and also because LOOK AT THIS CARD. I hope you have enjoyed today's installment because ROCKCARDS by BROCKUM produced other cards besides Rick Hunolt, and one of them features a guy playing the bongos.

TEASER.

4 comments:

Bill said...

I have nothing to say other than, this was awesome!

troy said...

Michael Schenker, you say? Never would've guessed.

mkenny59 said...

Thanks, Bill! Couldn't have accomplished the tremendous feat of writing about this ridiculous card without you ...

mkenny59 said...

troy, because I am not a musician like yourself, I had to Google Michael Schenker. Seems like an interesting albeit unstable fellow.