All right stop, collaborate and listen
Everybody stop what you’re doing. Then find a partner and work on a project together that has yet to be determined. Then listen to me.
Ice is back
This is my first single.
With a brand new invention
This invention is called “horrible rap.” Take that, Benjamin Franklin. To the rest of you: you’re welcome.
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Songs such as this one are not entirely my doing, but partly the result of an otherwordly force that urges me to rap about stuff.
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
The manner in which I rap “flows” similar to the flow of a harpoon, which is, according to Wikipedia, “a long spear like instrument used in fishing to catch fish or other large marine mammals such as whales.” I flow like this everyday. And also every night, which is different from the day. I do not sleep.
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know
Sometimes I will ask myself a question and then immediately and condescendingly dismiss that question as stupid. Regardless, I have no idea if or when my flow will ever cease.
Turn off the lights and I’ll glow
I am so good at rapping that I literally glow in the dark.
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
On the microphone, I rap just as well as a person who damages property. This is something that I do in the most extreme manner possible.
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
To “wax” someone, in this context, would mean to out-rap them, on a stage, that I have lit up with my immense stage presence. A “chump” is a person who is stupid and cannot rap. I will frequently wax a chump in the same fashion that one would wax a candle, which is something that is made of wax, but that can also be waxed, according to me.
Dance, go rush to the speaker that booms
This is self-explanatory.
I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
My music is so enjoyable to listen to that it will kill your brain. Your brain will die from listening to my music. This process is similar to the experience of consuming the ever-so-dangerous and brain-killing poisonous mushroom, which is found exclusively in remote areas of South Dakota. Brain-killing poisonous mushrooms are the number two cause of brain death in the United States, behind only: my music.
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Ya’ know what? If you value your life, you might want to stop listening like, right now.
Anything less than the best is a felony
I always give my best. Should I ever fail to give my best, I will arrest myself on felony charges of “not giving my best,” which has a minimum mandatory sentence of six months probation.
Love it or leave it, you better gain weight
I don’t really care if you love my music, or if you’re indifferent to it. The point is: you need to eat more.
You better hit bull’s eye, the kid don’t play
This is a literary device called symbolism. I am “the kid.” Also, I do not play, meaning that I do not lollygag when it comes to rapping –- I remain focused and vigilant at all times and work hard to succeed. In order to defeat me, you must “hit the bull’s eye,” meaning that you must, like…also do your best, or something. Should you succeed in doing your best, it is implied here that, yes –- you could beat me. Take that.
If there was a problem, yo I’ll solve it
Thankfully, there are no problems currently in the world, besides, of course, brain-killing poisonous mushrooms, which are obviously out of my control. But if there were a problem, hypothetically, I could and would solve it. If anyone should hear about a problem, just call me. My name is Vanilla Ice.
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Enjoy the chorus. This song won multiple awards.