Classic card of the week

Ozzie Guillen, 1991 Score All-Star Team

Nothing says “I take my baseball card collecting seriously” quite like owning a cartoon picture of a bobble-headed Ozzie Guillen. This looks like something Ozzie had done at the Seaside boardwalk, after which he publically berated the artist and called him “a homo” for making his ears too big.

From a technical standpoint, this card leaves a bit to be desired. For one, I am trying to figure out the stadium that this game is being played at, which features no buildings or obstructions beyond the outfield seats. Also, the crowd looks like Fruity Pebbles floating in milk. I do however, enjoy the baserunner who appears to be covered in a force field of Saran Wrap, and who is either a) running the bases in reverse, or b) performing abdominal exercises.

But back to Ozzie:

Ozzie, who hustles and chatters all the time

Ozzie, who runs hard to first base on his frequent groundouts and who is also annoying…

had plenty to talk about in ’90.

Didn’t we all? The Hubble Telescope went into orbit, A Tribe Called Quest first hit the music scene, and the Clean Air Act was passed, among many other conversational topics.

A much more disciplined hitter than in the past

Ozzie Guillen’s OBP in 1989: .270.
Ozzie Guillen’s OBP in 1990: .312.
That is 42 extra percentage points of discipline, which, unfortunately, still = awful.

he put some nice numbers on the board.

1 HR, 13 SBs and 17 CSs (43%!!!), .341 SLG. That is nice, I guess, for a person who hates baseball. Also, Ozzie: Stop trying to steal bases.

For the month of May, Ozzie batted a league-high .383 and at mid-season was hitting .319.

In an interview after leading the 2005 White Sox to the WS title as manager, Ozzie held steadfast that his proudest achievement remained winning the coveted “May Batting Title Award” back in 1990. He finished the year at .279, so June, July, August and September probably weren’t as productive. But really, who cares about those months anyway?

The White Sox co-captain, he is better known for his top-notch fielding at shortstop.

As this cartoon reenactment can attest.

Did you know?

When Ozzie Guillen originally discovered that the Clean Air Act had been passed, he went into a 20-minute, profanity-laced tirade that ultimately concluded with him flatulating emphatically in protest. He then went 0-for-4, ironically, keeping the air clean of any well-hit baseballs.