Thursday, March 05, 2009

Classic card of the week


Charles Smith, 1998 NBA Hoops

Here is yet another installment of our “NBA Hoops cards that are awesome and have fascinating yet largely nonsensical tidbits on the back that sound like they were written by a drunken beat-poet from the East Village.” Today’s feature: Charles Smith.



O.K.,

Let the awesomeness immediately begin with an abbreviated form of the lengthy and popular term “okay,” which often goes by the alias “OK.” In this case, NBA Hoops has chosen to abbreviate the original Latin form of the word, which is Okalay Kadokalay, always capitalized as it was an ancient term of acknowledgment towards royalty.

your name’s been in the NBA a few times,

Certainly, it has. Including the Charles Smith in question right here, the name Charles Smith has been in the NBA, quite literally, a few times. Of course, that is assuming we are talking about NBA players specifically, and not executives, team personnel, and other human beings that could be described as being “in the NBA.” (Editor’s note: I just reread that previous sentence and fell asleep for 35 minutes.)

But do any of the other Charles Smiths have the most points in their college’s (New Mexico) history?

You’re not going to believe this, but I’ve actually done a bit of honest research. Here was my rationale. You are one of the other two Charles Smiths whose accomplishments are being irresponsibly tossed aside by this card in order to hype up this other Charles Smith. You were a professional basketball player in the mother freaking NBA. This means that you were an excellent college basketball player. There is a great chance you were one of the top scorers in your school’s history. I have Internet access. Hmmm…

Charles D. Smith is the all-time leading scorer in Pittsburgh basketball history. He is also the school’s leading shot blocker and an Olympic medalist. Charles E. Smith is the 12th all-time leading scorer in Georgetown basketball history –- impressive for such a renown basketball powerhouse as Georgetown as opposed to a school like, oh I don’t know…New Mexico –- and he led his team in scoring twice during his tenure. So there’s that. But pay no attention to me, do continue…

We don’t think so.

But I know so. And “so” is the opposite. I looked it up. But whatever. Let’s read this one part again:

But do any of the other Charles Smiths have the most points in their college’s (New Mexico) history?

I had assumed that New Mexico was tossed in there to specify where this particular Charles Smith went to school. Although, it could be asking the question: How many Charles Smiths that were named Charles Smith are the all-time leading scorer in New Mexico men’s basketball history? In that case, the answer is one. Charles Smith. And to that I say, touché, card.

Touché.

Did you know?
There's a New Mexico?

1 comment:

SpastikMooss said...

I was just rereading this after seeing your Jacque Vaughn post, and I love the research you did. Hilariously factual.