Classic card of the week

Kirt Manwaring, 1994 O-Bee-Chee

The most amazing thing about this card – besides the obvious – is the fact that there was NOT a play at the plate. The Atlanta Braves player pictured had just hit a solo home run, but Kirt Manwaring wasn’t having it. It was a 0-0 game in the top of the seventh inning, and hell was going to freeze over before the Braves scored on Kirt Manwaring’s watch. (Speaking of Kirt Manwaring’s watch, if an unsuspecting teammate happened to ask him what time it was in the clubhouse, Manwaring would look at his bare wrist and respond, “Time to throw down.” Then he would tackle the guy and try to bite him until the trainer broke it up.) And I don’t think I have to tell you that the Braves did not score on this play. (In fact, Manwaring gave the umpire a noogie until he agreed to take away a run from the Braves, making the final score 0 - -1.) It was reported that, after this particular game, the grounds crew spent fifteen minutes picking up chunks of raw flesh and torn jersey fragments out of the batter’s box. All evidence pointed to Kirt Manwaring. No charges were filed. In 1991, Manwaring drove in 19 runs, and also bit the backsides of 11 opposing players, a league record. Another interesting tidbit on the back of this card, made more so not by the stat itself, but by the choice of words as it relates to the picture on the front: “Kirt nailed 42.3% of all potential base stealers in 1993.” The lesson here: If you’re innocently walking down the street, and Kirt Manwaring finds you, points at you and yells, “Hey! That’s my base,” run. Run as fast as you can. And cover your ass.

Did you know?
When Kirt Manwaring makes love, he always wears his shin guards, just in case.