Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Spam email of the week

Do you know a doctor who is good at being a doctor but bad at having pens? Well have I got the email for you!

Subject: Promotional Pens for Doctors - Offer #7117

!!!



Here are my questions/comments:

  • Does a "pcs" = a pen?
  • If so, $75 seems like a lot for 300 pens, even on a doctor's salary. I would probably pay $7 for 300 pens. Or, better yet, zero dollars for zero pens.
  • Then again, I am not a doctor. Just a writer.
  • Are the non-customized pens blank or do they read "Your Message Here?" If the latter, I would like to order three non-customized pens because I think that's sort of funny, maybe, it's not, forget it, I don't want any pens.
  • If choosing my pen colors becomes burdensome, is it possible for you to surprise the sh*t out of me by choosing the colors yourself? I realize that is risky but YOLO.

Give your customers a gift to remember your business

Are promotional pens really an effective means of medical advertising?

Man: (writing grocery list, stops to look at pen) You know, I should really have my spleen removed.

OK I guess they are.

Orders are shipped in 3 business days with FREE SETUP & FREE SHIPPING

I can't believe there isn't an exorbitant setup fee to imprint a message onto these plastic pens. And I feel bad for the delivery guy who has to carry 300 pens all by himself without even getting paid for it, but hey - not my problem. This is a great deal, and too good to pass up. I guess I will become a doctor after all.

2 comments:

troy said...

I like that you can have the pen (writing) color be different from the imprint color. I would do that, just to mildly annoy everybody. ("Form says to fill this out in red ink, so I'll just heyyyyyy ...")

By the way, saw "Bad at Having Pens" at the Bowery Ballroom just last week. They didn't really live up to the hype.

Anonymous said...

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