Thursday, September 27, 2012

Spam email of the week

Here is the subject of this week's spam email. Are you ready? Because it's great. Are you sure you're ready? I don't think you are. Here it is.

Subject: Let's trade horses

Yes, let us do that. I don't know how you knew about my involvement in the North American horse trade, but I should warn you that I am very knowledgeable about horses so don't think you can pull one over on me. I don't want to go all "horse talk" here on our less informed readers, but: I have some dark brown horses and I'm looking for a light brown horse, any year. By the way, what is your name?

Dan "Patio" Dalton [dan@contentthatworks.com]

Oh, it's YOU, Patio?! Ha, ha ... should have known! Note to readers: Dan "Patio" Dalton is a guy I know from way back in the day. Dude used to hang out on mad patios. He's cool though. (He is NOT cool.)

Holla at me Patio, what's up?

Connie,

My name is Mike.

Need some money-making ideas?

Yes.

· October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we have a great looking magazine you can sell around

First money-making idea: Exploit breast cancer by selling magazines. Cool. What else?

· The holiday season is coming; we have four magazines that tap virtually every merchant connected to the season:  Entertaining!, D├ęcor!, Gift Guide! and Tech Gift Guide!

Those are the four genre magazines the Wise Men gave Jesus in the manger, if I'm not mistaken. Again, sold. What else?

· Need some back-to-school fare? 

No. Also, school started here two months ago.

Check out Kid Scoop Weekly. 25% off through Friday

I'm not checking out anything called "Kid Scoop Weekly."

· Brides365™, our online bridal vertical continues to grow.  WCTV in Tallahassee, FL, just rolled out a rather innovative online promotion (hint: turn on your sound)

I went online to watch the innovative bridal vertical (?) that was just rolled out in Tallahassee, Florida, but I couldn't hear what anyone was saying. Then I thought, "Wait, did Patio leave any hints?" So I went back and checked, and sure enough -- had my sound turned down. On my computer. Duh. Watched again, it all made sense. I bought 18 wedding dresses.

So far these money-making ideas have cornered my areas of interest of: breast cancer awareness magazines, the holidays, back-to-school, and brides. I have to ask though -- are we going to trade any horses or what?

If you have bought any of the above – my thanks -- if you would like to trade some horses please give me a ring.

I will do that.

Best regards,

Dan “Patio” Dalton
Content That Works

909-793-9890

This email ends with a caption that reads, "I look forward to your call," which points to a picture of Mr. Ed by a telephone. I am not even joking. Here is the picture.

"I look forward to your call."
         /


Good night, everyone. That's a wrap.

Note: "Inexplicable horses" was an existing tag. I dare you to find another blog that can say that.

4 comments:

Bill said...

You heard from Patio? Sick! Oh, the times we had, me, Patio, and ol' Porchie. In fact I think that email was meant for me, as "Connie" is MY nickname. Always pullin' cons, the three of us were. One time we tricked a dude into trading us four American Saddlebreds, three Bavarian Warmbloods, a French Trotter, and a Unicorn, for two Virginia Highlanders. What a sucker, amirite or what!

Dan "Patio" Dalton said...

So are you going to buy something or what? -- Patio

mkenny59 said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Dan "Patio" Dalton said...

Quit stuttering and pony up for some content.