Thursday, September 06, 2012

Spam email of the week

So there I was today, sitting around like a schmo and thinking, "I'd really like to invest in a charity, but which one? Argh, thinking about this is such a PROJECT!"

Subject:  PROJECT

I don't know this person who is emailing me, like at all, but he/she definitely wants to collaborate on a project, and I am game. My philosophy in life has always been, "Start the project -- ask questions later."

Beloved I am Deborah Mannings.

There is no better way to tug at my heart strings than to call me "Beloved." Whenever I get an email that does not immediately acknowledge that I am, in fact, loved by God, I don't even read it. I have never read an email before this one. Wish me luck!

Oh, by the way, this person who emailed me here is Deborah Mannings. The name on the actual email sender reads Sister Deborah Mannings, so she is definitely a nun, and I trust her. The actual email this arrived from is chuihung.lee@parkhotelgroup.com, so she is definitely, I guess, a Chinese nun named Deborah Mannings and also Chui Hung Lee who, besides being a nun, works at the Park Hotel Group, obvs.

I have a charity project to propose..

Two periods are perfect when you're like, "One period doesn't seem like enough, and an ellipses would be totally over the top." I like Sister Deborah Manning Chui Hung Lee's style.

(please reply via debbielovesdeborah@aol.com)

Deborah Mannings is a narcissistic or lesbian Chinese nun who is also named Chui Hung Lee and who works at Park Hotel Group, but also has an AOL account. I can think of no better person to collaborate with on a charity project. I mean, I get so bored with charitable organizations that are "legitimate," or have "websites," or "public records." Pfft. It doesn't have to be that complicated. A few kids in Papa New Guinea are hungry? Send some money to a Chinese lesbian nun. Eliminate the middle man. Still, I suppose it would be helpful to know the logistics here. On to the proposal ...

...

Oops, that was the end of the email. I think I have to reply to debbielovesdeborah, subject: PROJECT, email content, "Yo, Beloved Debbie a.k.a. Chui Hung or whatevs..what's the dealio on this charity thingee? Hit me off with the power point so I can send you some $$$, holla."

2 comments:

troy said...

You are at the top of your game.

mkenny59 said...

Hey, thanks, troy! It has occurred to me that the top of my game is writing about junk emails on a free blog, and ya' know what? I am okay with that. Seriously thanks, and I hope all is well and rockin' hard with the TWE ... I know it is.