Thursday, April 19, 2012
Classic card of the week
Reggie Miller, 1990 Skybox
The thing that was awesome about Skybox basketball cards, besides nothing, was how they transported you to an alternate realty. If you stare at this card long enough, it’s like Reggie Miller is about to execute a reverse layup in space, within another galaxy, which is really what a basketball card is supposed to be all about. For the sake of ingenuity, let’s call this galaxy “The Silky Way,” named in honor of the silky way with which basketball player Reggie Miller glides to the space hoop while wearing a knee brace. Is that big yellow thing the sun? Maybe. What about the purple ring with the blue border? An abstract space defender? Possibly, and if so, good luck blocking that stylish layup, space defender! Ha, ha … idiot. Also, is that a comet basketball about to be deposited for two galactipoints? You betcha.
So if the front of the card is fantasy, can the back of the card be realty, you ask? Sure. Keep in mind, however, that the realty we speak of is 1990.
Skybox: Reggie, it’s Skybox. Hey, listen. Need you to drop by the studio when you get a chance for a photo shoot. Got the upcoming set coming out, which is gonna blow your freakin’ mind, Reg.
Reggie Miller: Okay, sure. Should I wear my uniform?
Skybox: What? No, that’s dumb. I need you to wear an oversized, white, formal t-shirt with a black border that’s kind of like a turtleneck but not really and that has a triangle in the middle of it. You got one of those?
Miller: I’ve got three of those, just in case.
Skybox: Cool. Also, bring a pair of modern sunglasses and also a hat.
Miller: Should I wear the sunglasses and hat, or just bring them?
Skybox: Darn it, Reg! What did I just say? Just bring them—I don’t know where the photographer wants to take this yet. They might just be props.
As aesthetically pleasing at it is, the vast amount of space the back picture utilizes does not leave much room for basketball statistics.
Henceforth, Skybox decided to go with Miller’s career stats and ‘89-90 stats, as compared with those of “All Forwards,” and also there are “Per 48 Minutes” stats. Are those for Miller or “All Forwards?” I do not know. Doesn’t really matter. It is, however, curious of Skybox to use “All Forwards” as an accompanying category considering there are small forwards and power forwards and forwards whose sole responsibility it is to set picks and foul Michael Jordan, which is not information reflected in statistics. Also, Reggie Miller was a shooting guard.
Did you know?
Reggie Miller’s sister Cheryl is his sister!