Classic card of the week

Michael Smith, 1996 Skybox

When a flying comet that is actually a basketball comes mysteriously swooping through an indoor arena, you’d better hope that Michael Smith is around, because he will stop the comet-basketball’s violent course of action by catching it, holding onto it tightly until the comet tail disintegrates, and then he will eventually raise the basketball as one of his own children. At that point it will be safe to resume activity. If that activity is, ironically, playing basketball, you should not use the basketball that used to be a comet, because it will still be very hot.

Let’s discover more about Michael Smith’s professional basketball career:

A big fan of the big screen, Michael and teammate Brian Grant were featured as motion picture critics during a Kings promotion for the 1994-95 season.

I am uncertain what the title of this marketing campaign was, but I imagine that it was something along the lines of: Why watch the Kings play when you could go see a movie? Both Smith and Grant took their respective criticisms of cinema extremely seriously, and were respected members of the Screen Critics Guild. In fact their thoughtful opinions were even used to promote popular Hollywood films. For example:


“A cinematic kick in the groin!”
-- Michael Smith, Sacramento Kings forward

The Usual Suspects

“You’ll never guess that Spacey is that Soze dude!”
-- Brian Grant, Sacramento Kings forward

The Nutty Professor

“Two thumbs painted like basketballs up!”
-- Michael Smith & Brian Grant, Sacramento Kings forwards

Grant would stop reviewing movies in 1998 after he used the word “powerful” in an otherwise negative review for the film “Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver.” He felt he was taken out of context during televised promotions for the movie, which included the following:

-- Brian Grant, Sacramento Kings forward

“If you don’t see this movie, you’re barking up the wrong tree!”
-- Boobies Magazine

Smith remained in the cinematic field following a brilliant and powerful NBA career. He even developed a movie script about a basketball-comet that comes to earth, which is still in the early stages of production.

Did you know?
The actual phraseology Brian Grant used during his review of Air Bud was “Powerfully obscene and disappointing.”


Evil E said…
“You’ll never guess that Spacey is that Soze dude!”

Bill said…
When Michael Smith watched the 2005 Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie film "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, " and discovered it was NOT about his own parents, he coldly gave it only 3 rebounds (out of a possible 17, of course)...his lowest rating to date.