Thursday, December 16, 2010

Classic card of the week


1992 Upper Deck, "Rookie Threats"

It’s a Brian Jordan sandwich, between two slices of plain white bread. (Sayeth Brian Jordan: “Haaaaay!”) Now, for the mustard:



After Ray Lankford and Omar Olivares made the jump to the Majors in 1991, you would think the Cardinals would have to wait a few years before their next crop of rookies.

Cardinals Manager Joe Torre: In a way, it’s a shame Lanky and Oli played well last year, cause I got a few young guys who I’d love to give a shot.

General Manager Dal Maxvill: Then, why don’t you?

Torre: Well, you know. What would people think? We just harvested a crop of two rookies, and then we’re gonna bring up more rookies? We have to wait until at least 1994 to bring up more rookies. It’s too many rookies, too soon. The fans will get restless. Because of the rookies.

Maxvill: Well are they better than the players we got?

Torre: I mean, our No. 2 starter is Rheal Cormier, and we got Ozzie Canseco in the outfield. So … yeah.

Maxvill: I say who cares what people think? Bring ‘em up.

Torre: Really? We’re gonna shock the world, Dal.

Maxvill: (under his breath) That’s what you said last year …

Torre: What?

However, with the arrivals of Brian Jordan, Donovan Osborne and Mark Clark in 1992, the future is now in St. Louis.

The future in St. Louis is like the past elsewhere, so 1992 brought with it Atari and third place in the NL East. Today in St. Louis, where the future was then, local citizens listen to their iPods while sporting jorts and mullets in a non-ironic fashion, and wait patiently for 2006.

With rookies making up two-fifths of the Cardinals rotation and one-third of the outfield,

One-third of the outfield = one rookie. Just wanted to point that out.

there is a good chance the 1992 N.L. Rookie-of-the-Year will be a Redbird.

I hate to ruin it for Cardinals’ fans, who still await word from the future as to the 1992 NL Rookie of the Year, but the “good chance” of having three rookies as opposed to other teams’ two or three rookies were for naught, as current Dodgers’ player and future inventor of the male weave took home the award. Osborne, however, did finish fourth, just ahead of teammate Mike Perez, who is not even mentioned here. So, overall, good job. Upper Deck, like before—you called it.

Did you know?
Crops of rookies are planted with the seeds of unrealistic expectations, along with water and sunshine.

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