Thursday, September 30, 2010

Classic card of the week


Craig Worthington, 1991 Score

Let’s pretend, for fun, that we are not aware that this is a Craig Worthington baseball card we are looking at, okay? Just trust me.



He has quick reflexes and goes well to his left and right, covering a vast amount of ground around third base and throwing with a powerful, accurate arm for the Orioles. Who does that remind you of? Brooks Robinson?

Yeah! I mean, if this wasn’t written in the present tense!

Doug DiCinces?

Not really, but…okay, yeah! It may have helped jog my memory though if you had spelled Doug DeCinces correctly, as nobody, really, reminds me of Doug DiCinces.

You’re wrong on both counts.

WHAT??!!!???!!!!????!!!!!????

It’s Craig

So wait. You’re telling me that the biographical tidbit contained on the back of this Craig Worthington card is about Craig Worthington? I am dumbfounded. This has really caught me off guard.

I also appreciate that I am wrong about being reminded of different baseball players when the author’s intent is to speak of Craig Worthington. In theory, a quick-reflexed, range-having, accurate-arm-boasting third baseman for the Orioles could remind me of Cher, for reasons that are personal and do not have to be explained, and that would be okay. It would also be okay, me thinks, to be reminded of former players who possessed those exact same qualities. I’m just saying.

who wore the mantle of both great Oriole third basemen in 1990.

1) One of them was great. The other was Doug DeCinces. 2) I wish Craig Worthington was forced to play third base while literally wearing a mantle on his back that contained bronze busts of both Brooks Robinson and Doug DeCinces. Then we’d really see how well he could move to his left and right.

He has superb hands and makes everything look easy around the bag, just as Brooks and Doug did.

So…he reminds you of Brooks Robinson and Doug DeCinces? The circle is complete.

I also think that “Brooks & Doug” would be a good name for a country music duo that did not remind people of a different country music duo.

Did you know?
Once, while attempting to bestow on him the nickname “Craig ‘We’re Not Worthy’ington,” Chris Berman accidentally swallowed his tongue.

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