Thursday, July 22, 2010

Classic card of the week


Chuck Crim, 1991 Fleer

Crim. Chuck Crim. Tough? Yes. Hat? Yes. Throw? Word. Good? Ehh. Effective? Too many syllables, but let’s find out anyway:



Effective reliever for Brewers,

Effective. Is there a higher compliment? No. Chuck Crim: You effect things. Mostly, my heart.

who quietly established himself as the workhorse of the staff…

Robin Yount: Hey, have you guys noticed that Chuck Crim is the workhorse of our pitching staff?

Chris Bosio: Yeah, I just noticed that! I always knew he was effective, but this is crazy! Is it because I'm kinda fat? When did this happen though? Because I didn’t hear anything…

Paul Molitor: Me neither. But what does is it even sound like when someone is becoming the workhorse of your pitching staff?

Robin Yount: Some people say that it sounds like a horse. Other guys say you’ll hear a lot of grunting. But like, horse grunting. Whatever the case, Chuck Crim is one quiet-ass workhorse.

Now, I bet you’re saying to yourself: All this stuff about Chuck Crim is great, and stupid. But is there a Chuck Crim website that I can go to, which will tell me more than I ever hoped to know about Chuck Crim, and which features tons of exclamation points, and which introduces future Chuck Crim websites? Well, of course not.

Just kidding!

Chuck Crim makes a Pitch for the Future of Baseball!

Alright!!! Future, here we come! For baseball! This blue background is hurting my eyes!

It’s not my way…it’s Baseball’s way!

And baseball says: Chuck Grim –- you’re headed to a bullpen in Milwaukee. Also, you’ve been traded. I hope you have an optimistic outlook on these transitions, which are all just part of me, baseball.

California Here I Come!

Alright, good. It looks like you’re dealing with th-

Chicago is My Kind of Town!

Okaaaaay.

There’s No Place Like Home!

Alright just shut-up.

He is a Pitching Guru is every sense of the word,

Why capitalized? And how many senses of the word(s) “Pitching Guru” are there?

And now, through the 24-hour interactive website he has developed

24 hours? How did Chuck Crim convince the Internet to stay awake so long?

UltimatePitchingCoach.com for Pitchers of All Ages & Skill Levels from Youth Leagues to the Pros, Coaches, Parents & Baseball Enthusiasts,


Is that the full name of the website, or are we just capitalizing at will? Regardless, let’s go there!

Site Under Construction…COMING FALL 2010!

That is not as ultimate as I had envisioned. Obviously someone other than a workhorse is responsible for getting Chuck Crim’s website up-and-running. Nevertheless: !!!

Did you know?
Chuck Crim's original pitch for the future of baseball included "laser balls" and robots as designated hitters.

1 comment:

Hackenbush said...

"He is a Pitching Guru is every sense of the word." Guru? Can Chuck teach me about transcendental meditation? Well, can he?