Why I would like the Cardinals to beat the Cowboys

Note: This column appears in the 10/9 issue of The Glendale Star, and the 10/10 issue of the Peoria Times

There are so, so many reasons why I want the Arizona Cardinals to beat the Dallas Cowboys this Sunday. Of course, that may be a tall order, considering that there appears to be a rather vast talent gap between the two teams, and because -- since this isn’t a playoff game -- the Cowboys are less prone to choke it away. Nevertheless, a man can dream.

But why? Why do I want the Cardinals to win so badly? I mean, I’m not even a Cardinals’ fan. Hmmm…

Because two weeks ago a Cardinals’ wide receiver almost got his head knocked off going across the middle of the endzone for a pass and was taken off the field on a stretcher and later vowed not to change his aggressive style of play whatsoever. And because on that same day, a Cowboys’ wide receiver openly complained that he wasn’t getting enough passes thrown his way, even though he was targeted 20 times during the game. I’d rather have the demolition man than the diva.

That's my quarterback...(sniff, sniff)...he needs to throw me the ball more.

Because you can say what you want about the Bidwells, but you’ll never catch them meddling on the sidelines. In fact, I’m not even sure if they know where the sidelines are. Or what sidelines are, for that matter. So there.

Ha, touchdown! Just like I suggested they do!

Because in the annals of famous NFL anecdotes, “They are who we thought they were!” is much funnier than “How ‘bout them Cowboys?”

Because Matt Leinart was supposed to be Tony Romo.

Because there are so many Cowboys fans living in this area that the Arizona Cardinals’ website made fans who were buying advanced tickets for this game also buy tickets for the December 7th game versus the St. Louis Rams. So if the Cowboys were to lose this week, I would be able to commend the Cardinals for adding insult to injury.

Because when Pacman Jones is on “America’s Team,” bad things happen to America. See: recent economic crisis.

Because this will be the first game in NFL history that features four running backs with dreadlocks, and Edgerrin James started that whole trend.

Because if the Cardinals are going to win this game, they’re going to have to win a shootout, and that is something I would very much like to see.

Because, as far as I know, Kurt Warner’s wife will not be sitting in a luxury box wearing a pink #13 jersey and simultaneously promoting her new country album, and I appreciate that, because when I am watching football, I like to watch football.

Because the Cowboys were supposed to make it to Glendale last year, but had a change of plans, and now that they’re finally here, it’d be really neat to watch them lose anyway.

Oh, and because I’m a Giant’s fan, and a Cardinals’ win would like, really help me out. And hey, I realize that, in the eyes of Cardinals’ fans, this makes me no different than any of the thousands of Cowboys fans who will be invading the Stadium on Sunday. But what can I say -- we all have our agendas here. I say we come together for at least one day, for the common good of humanity.

With that said,

Go. Cards.


Lisa said…
Lisa said…
How sweet was that win? Was Yoko Romo in the audience to see that big old loss?