Classic card of the week

Brian Giles, 2001 Stadium Club

Few things in the history of civilization generated as much pure joy as playing for the 2000 Pittsburgh Pirates. Just ask Brian Giles, who scored the winning run during Game Seven of the World Series -- a day game -- to give the Pirates the title, and celebrated by opening his mouth to catch the popcorn that the fans were joyously tossing in his direction as gratitude, and also by pulling Kevin Young’s batting helmet over his face. That, or Brian Giles was being chased by a bee.

Also, after dissecting Dean Palmer’s, I am in the mood again for some ANALYSKILLS, and luckily for me, Brian Giles has them as well. Let’s take a look:

Drives the ball where it is pitched…

Giles led the major leagues in 1999 with 179 hits into the catcher’s mitt.

Level, quick swing that produces line-drive home runs…

One of Brain Giles most renowned ANALYSKILLS was his ability to hit majestic, line-drive home runs that would often injure fans that did not bring their gloves to the park that day. During the Home Derby of 1998, Chris Berman became extremely frustrated, as he could only generate one “Back” during Giles performance, instead of his usual “Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back,” which never gets old. Giles also hit four doubles that day, a Home Run Derby record.

Sturdy build, like a young Pete Rose…

Another one of Giles' ANALYSKILLS was the fashion in which he was physically constructed by God, which was short, white, and compact. Not many players have the skill -- or analysis for that matter -- to be built sturdily, but Giles obviously did. A player who was built similarly to Giles was a young Pete Rose. Not an old Pete Rose, who, as we all know, lost many of his ANALYSKILLS with age, and expanded to a robust 435 lbs and grew seven inches in height. In conclusion, Brain Giles = young Pete Rose.

Did you know?
Pete Rose was denied entry into “The Sturdy Build Hall of Fame” because his bowl haircut, according to voters, diminished his sturdiness.