Nextdoor posts of the week

ME: WHO WILL TAKE PICTURES OF ME AND MY HORSES

THEM: HAVE YOU CHECKED THE SOCIAL MEDIA SITE NEXTDOOR

ME: NO I THOUGHT THAT WAS FOR LIKE GARAGE SALES AND ADULT DIAPERS

THEM: NO IT IS FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE, IT CAN MAKE ALL OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE

ME: WOW BUT HERE'S THE THING-- NOT ONLY DO I WANT PICTURES OF ME AND MY HORSES, I WANT OPTIONS

THEM: LISTEN I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO FIND THE PERFECT HORSE PHOTOGRAPHER ON NEXTDOOR, ALL I'M SAYING IS GIVE IT A TRY

ME: THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE, NOW IF I COULD ONLY FIND MY FRIEND CORNLIUS A HANYMAN

CORNELIUS NEEDS A HANYMAN

CORNELIUS WALKED THROUGH THE SCREEN DOOR BY ACCIDENT WHILE CHASING A FLY OUT OF THE HOUSE AND NOW HE NEEDS A NEW HANY FOR IT

BUT HE'S NOT GOOD AT INSTALLING A HANY WHICH IS WHY CORNELIUS NEEDS A HANYMAN

I HAVE A CRAZY IDEA DID YOU CONSIDER CALLING AMIGOS INSTEAD OF ASKING RANDOM STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET

ALSO I APPLAUD YOUR STRATEGY OF PASSIVELY WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN AND THEN QUESTIONING WHY THEY DON'T

JOHN'S GOT BOXELDER BUG JOKES FOR DAYS

TWO BOXELDER BUGS WALK INTO A BAR, THE ONE BOXELDER BUG SAYS TAKE MY WIFE PLEASE-- SHE'S AN ELDER!

THE OTHER BOXELDER BUG SAYS WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THE WHOLE PLANE OUT OF THE ELDER BOX

ANYWAY NO, I CANNOT RECOMMEND A PEST CONTROL SERVICE