Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Garage sale



This is a Facebook community garage sale site where you’re supposed to sell/buy household items. It’s also a good place to solicit ice cream cake information in this, an age without Google or other ice cream cake search resources. Please note that there are 24 comments. I only have one like on a t-ball set I posted five months ago.

It remains to be seen what the problem is with Baskin Robbins ice cream cakes. A little too cliché perhaps? This is quite probable, as outside-the-box desserts are a staple of this garage sale site which, you might recall, once offered our insatiable community some mouthwatering lactation cookies.

As for Safeway ice cream cakes? No. Hell to the no. Don’t even. Don’t. Anything involving “Safeway” and “cake,” just … no. (For the record, Safeway has been running a dang Monopoly game for seemingly the past SIX MONTHS that will not come to its merciful end. I bought bananas the other day and they tried to hand me like 18 Monopoly tickets at the register and I was like, “NO, STOP. ENOUGH.” I can’t imagine how many Monopoly tickets one might earn for purchasing a Safeway ice cream cake. They probably rain down like confetti. Also, the overwhelming majority of Monopoly tickets earn you the right to MORE Monopoly tickets and the other 2 percent earn you half off a six-pack of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter sticks from 5/3/16 through 5/5/16 on a $50 purchase.)

It is helpful to know, however, that "Fry’s have Carvel." In the frozen area, not by the cereal. Thank you, Melissa.

Even though #Fry'sHaveCarvel, why buy an ice cream cake when you can just make your own? IF YOU HAVE THE TIME AND CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, BLUSHY FACE EMOTICON. Just follow this easy 89-step recipe from a stand-out wife and mother. It’s fun! And she knows about fun because she makes ice cream cakes from scratch in her spare time, of which she apparently has PA-lenty. And don’t feel like you have to abide by traditional, rigid rules regarding which flavors to use, which is the No. 1 deterrent of homemade ice cream cakes. Does anybody want to hear the story about how I went to an online garage sale looking to buy a t-ball set but instead learned how to make my own ice cream cake? GATHER 'ROUND.




Then there's this. I am downright inspired by the notion that our community rallied together to support a face on a cactus. VIVA LA CACTUS FACE. I am glad to see our HOA fees are being put to good use, which is to say toward the time and effort required to decide whether or not a cactus with a face is offensive to others in the community. So now what, I gotta share a restroom with this androgynous cactus? I am happy to report that our community, despite being in Arizona, is on the right side of history in this matter. I mean, how can you deny this face its inalienable right to exist?



Call me crazy, but it's almost as if that cactus has just tasted a homemade ice cream cake for the very first time. I KNOW THE FEELING, CACTUS FACE. Anyway, this has been a pretty good garage sale.

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