Classic card of the week
Ricky Jordan, 1989 Score “Young Superstar”
Two quick comments regarding this card: 1) I don’t
understand why the Phillies don’t continue to wear these uniforms. And for
every game, home or away. They might be the greatest unis MLB ever produced. 2)
This card is ridiculously glossy. I assure you that Score did not spare
any gloss during the production of this card. So please, rest easy regarding
your previous concerns about: is there enough gloss on this card?
You’ll never convince me that expectations for Ricky Jordan
were not at least partially raised because of his last name. And when I say
that I am referring to my own expectations for him, specifically as it relates
to the acquisition of his baseball cards, which has proven to be a lukewarm
investment, gloss surplus aside. If the Phillies organization spent a first
round pick on him because they subconsciously thought he was going to mirror
Michael Jordan’s accomplishments, but in baseball, or because they thought he
was literally related to Michael Jordan as if “Jordan” is not a common last name—I
totally did not think/hope that for a little while—then the Phillies are
stupid. Ricky Jordan was not Michael Jordan. He was, in actuality, a hybrid of
Michael Jordan and Ricky Henderson who was super fast and hit slam dunk home
runs and who was awesome but said weird things.
So that’s my scouting report. How about yours, Score?
Ricky is a big, strong right-handed hitter who swings the
bat well.
That is interesting, and includes tons of information I
could totally not draw on my own simply by seeing Ricky Jordan literally one
time!
Score: Okay, what do we got on Ricky Jordan?
Score scout: Let’s see here … flipping through
notes … Well, he’s definitely as big as his height and weight listed here
would suggest, I can tell ya’ that! Also, got affirmation that he IS, in fact,
right-handed. No doubt about that. Also, he looks pretty strong to me. And he
swings the bat well.
Score: So you’re saying, as opposed to many of the
up-and-coming young baseball hitters we analyze, he does not swing the bat
weirdly and awkwardly, as if he has never played baseball before?
Scout: That is exactly what I’m saying.
Score: Pretends to write down notes while staring
blankly back at scout.
He looks like a natural at bat, and had some big hits in
his half season as a regular in ’88.
Scout: He’s like Robert Redford out there! Except
that he’s African American and, as previously mentioned … checks notes just
to be sure … right-handed. Plus he’s already had some big hits for the
Phillies!
Score: You do realize that “scouting reports” are
traditionally filed before the player reaches the majors, and are
supposed to contain useful information …
Ricky has a slick glove and good range.
Scout: Speaking of useful information, did I mention
he has a slick glove and good range? Because he does.
Score: Now you’re just saying things.
Scout: Can I be honest?
Score: Yes.
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