Thursday, July 14, 2011
Classic card of the week
Dennis Northcutt, Visa debit card, Exp. 02/06
I think it’s safe to say the NFL would not be experiencing a lockout if more players were willing to use their Dennis Northcutt debit card.
The great thing about a Dennis Northcutt debit card is that it prevents you from overspending. For example, if you don’t have adequate funds in your Dennis Northcutt checking account, and you mistakenly attempt to purchase some Dennis Northcutt memorabilia with your Dennis Northcutt debit card, the debit card will not allow you to do this. In this regard, Dennis Northcutt is always looking out for your best financial interests. “Why don’t you purchase this autographed Dennis Northcutt plaque when you have more money in your account,” is what Dennis Northcutt says to you, via his debit card, on such an occasion. Another way the Dennis Northcutt debit card prevents you from overspending is through the fact that you cannot actually use the card to buy things. I found this out the hard way:
Cashier: That will be $13.86.
Me: Do you accept the Dennis Northcutt debit card?
Me: He used to play wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns …
Cashier: Is it a Visa?
Cashier: Fine. Anything but Discover.
Me: Swipes card …
Cashier: It didn’t go through. Can I see the card?
Me: Hands cashier card …
Cashier: This card has no magnetic stripe. Also, it expired in 2006. Also, it explicitly says it’s void. You didn’t fill out a credit application for this, did you?
Me: I think it was handed to me at a bar.
Cashier: I don’t think I can sell you these pistachio nuts.
Me: Wait—do you accept the Keenan McCardell American Express?
THIS SEASON, UNEXPECTED MOVES WON’T JUST HAPPEN ON THE FIELD.
What does it mean?! Could it be that unexpected things will happen in life away from the realm of professional football? That seems impossible to me! What should I do to find out more so that I may protect myself?
Okay, so I did that. Turns out, Visa and the NFL are a perfect team. Also, Visa and the NFL have partnered up to engage high school students in a different kind of football game—one that prepares them to become fiscally fit adults. “Financial football” is an engaging, educational video game that teaches students about personal finance using curriculum from Practical Money Skills for Life. Wow, unexpected move, indeed! This sounds like the greatest game of fiscal responsibility ever!!! How do I play?
"Financial Football" is fast-paced and fun, but instead of using a game controller to gain yardage and score, players must answer personal finance questions correctly to advance down the field. "Financial Football" is available for free and can be downloaded for playing on computers and cell phones.
Should I invest in a mutual fund or money market account? Three-yard gain! Nice! Should I reapply for a Dennis Northcutt debit card? Sack and fumble!?!?! Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you know?
You can earn cash-back rewards by using your Dennis Northcutt debit card at participating locations in the Cleveland area. Locations subject to change without notice; card not valid; Visa and its subsidiaries are not affiliated with Dennis Northcutt; offer expires always.