Classic card of the week

Bob Tewksbury, 1992 Score/Pinnacle “Sidelines” series

When faced with something unusual that does not fall within the context of my own perceptions, my natural instinct is to laugh, point, and make fun of it. This is called “maturity.” Thus my first reaction upon reintroducing myself to this card was to laugh at Bob Tewksbury because baseball players are not supposed to draw cartoon caricatures of other baseball players. They are supposed to play baseball. And maybe hunt elk in the offseason or something. Any talent that transcends playing baseball and hunting elk should be exhibited only at an appropriate time post-retirement. If the talent in question involves cartoon caricatures it should never see the light of day.

But Bob Tewksbury was like, “Screw it. I play baseball and I also draw cartoons. Deal with it. I’m Bob Tewksbury.” The ultimate result of this courageous self-acceptance was: me having a Bob Tewksbury baseball card in which he is featured drawing cartoons. So I am the real winner here. To wit:

Bob has a fine touch when he pitches, nibbling at the corners and inducing ground balls,

Is there anything more exciting to consider than making a trip to the ballpark and watching, in person, a pitcher who nibbles at the corners and also induces ground balls? One time I was asked, “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?” and I responded, “Watching a pitcher nibbling at the corners.” Then the person who asked that question was like, “What?” and I was like, “I don’t know.” True story. Anyway, I can’t see how this fine touch and nibbling relates to cartoons…

and a fine touch with the pen and ink

Oh! His talents are relatable in that both his profession and his hobby require a fine touch. Cool! If he ever nibbled on his pen while drawing, well…that’s just too much for me to imagine right now.

So we know Bob Tewksbury had talent. But talent undiscovered is meaningless, and so the question remains: Who is responsible for discovering the talent of Bob Tewksbury? This card does not say. I’ll have to ask the only reliable source:

Tewksbury’s talent was initially discovered by Andy Michael in Concord.

Familiar story. However it doesn’t specify whether the talent in question involved baseball or cartoons. Although, considering the context and that Tewksbury’s wiki page is absent of even a mention of his cartoon skills, I am left to assume that Andy Michael discovered Tewksbury’s pitching talent. Although it was fun –- albeit for a brief moment –- to imagine Andy Michael walking down the Concord boardwalk (?) and spotting a crowd surrounding a 13-year old boy furiously drawing hilarious caricatures of random strangers. This would prompt Andy Michael to rush to the nearest payphone and contact the person responsible for further developing such kinds of talent. He would say, “Brett, you gotta see this. I got a kid here who just a drew a picture of a 40-year old woman with a giant head jumping on a trampoline! You need to get down here now.”

But alas, we are only left with this: “Brett, it’s Andy. I got a kid here who just induced 8 ground balls and he’s nibbling his ass off. Call the Yankees.”

Did you know?
A Tewksbury-inspired Saturday morning cartoon series entitled "Seventh Inning Catch" featured a clumsy elk named Felk and a sacrastic cat named Nibbles, who starred for their Little League team while also solving tax crimes.


JD's Daddy said…
I love that he is just posted up in front of his locker drawing images of his teammates. I can almost see his next door neighbor sitting there creating balloon animals.
Hi! I've been getting the Glendale Star free at GCC last semester and really enjoyed your column. Since I'm between semesters right now, I had to find it somewhere else, so I got it at Safeway. I actually had to pay for it. It was worth it.
Just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated. :)
Have a great day!
mkenny59 said…
@ JD's Daddy: Thanks for the comment, and the balloon animals thing made me -- and I never say this -- lol. Wish I would have thought of that one myself.

@ Becoming Godly Maidens: That's just about the nicest and highest compliment anyone has ever given me. You really made my weekend. Seriously. Thanks for taking the time to write that!