Thursday, September 04, 2008
Classic card of the week
Aaron Brooks, 2005 Topps Heritage Series
The Topps Heritage series is modeled after famous sets of Topps cards. On earth we call this concept “recycling old ideas.” For example, this particular card is made to look like the popular Topps baseball card series of that year when all the cards looked like this. I’m sorry -- I just didn’t feel like looking up the year. Mostly because I don’t care. Welcome to my blog!
Anyway, this card features Saints’ quarterback Aaron Brooks standing on the sidelines after being pulled from a game for throwing the football backwards for a 23-yard loss. The bright yellow background is the sun.
But maybe you would like to know more about Aaron Brooks. Well then, I’m glad you are here! Let’s use the back of this card as our guide, and feel free to ask as many Aaron Brooks-related questions as you’d like, and I will answer all of them to the best of my ability:
You: I love this card! I was wondering though, how tall is Aaron Brooks?
Me: Oh, that’s easy! Aaron Brooks is four minutes pass 6 o’clock tall.
You: What is the “year” in question on Aaron Brook’s Passing Record chart, and how did Topps manage to include his passing stats for his entire life?!
Me: To answer your first question: I don’t know. As for the second question, either Aaron Brooks did not start playing football until his rookie year in the NFL, or by “LIFE” they mean “NFL career,” and are not including that touchdown pass his threw to his friend Herbert in sixth grade gym class.
You: The NFL started in 1921, when did the Giants join?
Me: That question has nothing to do with Aaron Brooks. And who do you think you are anyway, Alex bleeping Trebek?
You: Would you like to rub the edge of a coin over my space for the magic answer?
Me: That is disgusting! And yes, I would.
You: Wait, so what is the answer?
Me: I am no longer taking Aaron Brooks-related questions.
Did you know?
After filing an official complaint, the Topps Company confirmed to me that in order to reveal the magic answer, one must use a coin that was produced earlier than the year 1870. Or the Internet.