Thursday, August 21, 2008

Classic card of the week


Harry Hamilton, 1989 NFL Pro Set

In honor of it being almost the start of the NFL season, we present to you yet another installment from Bill’s collection. Today we celebrate, amongst other things, how not to tackle an opposing football player.

Quick true story: In my first ever Pop Warner football game, on the very first play, I got the wind knocked out of me. The trainer was on the field and everything. My dad was so proud. For a few seconds I thought I was dead. I see Blue, he looks…glorious! If you’re wondering how this happened, and, even better, if you would enjoy a dramatic still-photo reenactment in which I am played by a 6-foot tall African American man, please feel free to reference the above-featured card.

It is uncertain how this particular play ended, although I am going to assume that it ended with Harry Hamilton firmly entrenched in the turf, unable to breathe, with two parallel tire tracks spanning the length of his body. Of course, you can’t always make tackles by the book and, believe it or not, Harry Hamilton was a tackling machine! Exhibit A: his side ‘fro.



One of Harry Hamilton’s secret weapons was that he had a naturally produced helmet underneath his helmet, which gave him the ability to easily absorb helmet-to-helmet contact. (While at Penn State during his freshman season, Hamilton reportedly forgot his helmet for a road game at Michigan. Unfazed, a trainer helped him dye his hair white with a blue stripe down the middle, and Hamilton made 27 tackles during the Nittany Lions’ victory, all solo.) Not pictured in this photo is Harry Hamilton’s distinct chest ‘fro, which enabled him to tackle even the fullest of fullbacks whilst standing straight up. Further evidence of Harry Hamilton’s tackling prowess that does not include his body hair can be found in his actual tackling statistics -- he was top-three in tackles for the Jets for three straight seasons. So there’s that.

But this wouldn’t be a Classic Card if we didn’t confirm our findings with Wikipedia:

he went to school at greater nanticoke area

No capitalization, no punctuation, grammatically incorrect, and not relative to anything whatsoever. I should really find another source of online information. But I won’t.

Did you know?
According to his mother, Hamilton modeled his mustache after his legendary great-grandfather, Sir Harry Hamilton Johnston.

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