Thursday, May 22, 2008

Classic card of the week

Doug Jennings, 1988 Fleer

Here’s a trivia question: Name one of “Baseball’s Best” players in 1988. I’ll give you a hint -- the answer is not Doug Jennings.

Give up? The answer is Doug Jennings. (There are no other acceptable answers. Sorry!) That hint that I provided, admittedly, may have been a bit confusing, as Mr. Jennings was not, literally, one of baseball’s best players in 1988. However, he WAS one of “Baseball’s Best” players in 1988. So how did Fleer and their atrociously colorful series of cards come to this conclusion? Well, Doug Jennings had accumulated a four-year batting average of .303 in the minor leagues. ‘Nuff said. Move over Mike Greenwell and Orel Hershiser, with all of your major league “experience” and impressive “stats” -- Doug Jennings and his .303 minor league average are here. To use a phrase that was popular in 1988, “You betta ask somebody!”

Wait -- was that 1988 or like, 1994 when that phrase was popular? I forget. Nevertheless, I just did axe ask somebody, and they told me that Doug Jennings was a slugger. Also, the person that I asked was this card, which is not a person, but they can’t be wrong because Doug Jennings is listed here as dwelling among baseball’s “Sluggers.” Even in this picture Doug Jennings looks like he is about to slug something fierce, and many people believe that this photo was actually taken right before Jennings slugged his only home run in 101 at-bats in 1988. That is some serious slugging. Sluggity-slug-slug, is what I like to call that.

But maybe you thought Doug Jennings was finished slugging after 1988. You, sir, are an a-hole. For thinking that. To prove you wrong, let’s use a stat that can measure one’s ability to slug. We’ll call this stat “slugging percentage.” Now let’s look up Doug Jennings’ slugging percentage for the year of 1989. I will now provide the sound effects of me looking this information up on the Internet: beep, beep, boop, boop, bop, beep, BEEP! Ahem…Doug Jennings slugged .000 in 1989. Granted, this was only through four at-bats (you would think such a slugger would get more plate appearances!), but that is still not a lot of slugging. One could even argue that Doug Jennings was the exact opposite of a slugger, in which case this card would be inaccurate, which is impossible, so that argument is rendered moot. I have won the Doug Jennings debate. Can’t touch this!

Did you know?
Doug Jennings’ nickname in Triple-A Midland was Doug E Fresh, which was a nod to the famous beat-boxing rapper who actually provided the sound effects for this post today. Thanks Douglas!


Tom said...

I'm no hitting instructor, but the position of Doug E.'s right foot in this photo looks downright uncomfortable. Let alone conducive to swinging and/or slugging.

mkenny59 said...

I noticed that, too. I'm not sure how he was able to swing while standing like that without his kneecap falling off. But then again, like you, I am no hitting instructor. Just a blogger. And a marine biologist. Not sure if I mentioned that.

Tom said...

You're a marine biologist? How interesting. I'm an architect. I work at VanDelay Industries.