Thursday, May 15, 2008

Classic card of the week


Melido Perez, 1989 Score

Melido Perez did not invent the jheri curl -- Jheri Redding did, and yes, I Googled “jheri curl” to find that out -- but he did perfect it.

(Side bar: I was going to say that Melido Perez “redefined” the jheri curl, until I realized how much I hate that word. Redefined. What a stupid, stupid word. And you hear it all the time, especially in sports. “Cal Ripken redefined the shortstop position.” Why, because he was tall? That’s how he redefined it? If Cal Ripken started playing shortstop on the warning track, then he would have redefined the position. My mission in life is to redefine the word redefine so that the new definition of redefine is a frowny face :(

I'm going to close the parenthesis now because it's hard to do so after a frowny face. Aaaaaaand close.)

Anyhoo, now that THAT’S over, back to the jheri curl. Melido Perez, as previously mentioned, and as you can see from the above card, had one. Isn’t that funny? His brother Pascual had one too! Ha, ha, ha, dated hairstyles are funny! Am I right? Hello? Funny? Anyone? I am out of material. Let’s go to the back of the card:



Melido, who has a live, supple arm…

Something about using the word supple to describe another man’s arm makes me uncomfortable. So, since I am in a definition-type mood, I looked up the word supple, and the definition is: bending easily without breaking or becoming deformed. I am pretty sure I have been inappropriately using the word supple for 30 years now. In fact, there is a good chance that I may have told my wife at one point that her butt looked supple in a particular pair of jeans, which means I have attempted to compliment my wife by telling her that her butt bends easily and is not noticeably deformed. This is all Melido Perez’s fault.

More:

“Nothing rattles Melido,” said Mark Salas. “If he gives up a home run, he asks for the ball right away and goes after the next hitter.”

In this respect, it could be argued that Melido Perez redefined what it meant to be a pitcher, as many of his contemporaries would simply curl up into the fetal position after surrendering a home run, and would have to be strapped to the roof of the bullpen car and brought immediately to the local hospital. That fact that Melido Perez would continue to pitch after giving up a home run is a testament to the suppleness of his personality. He also had an awesome jheri curl.

Did you know?

Eriq La Salle portrayed Melido Perez in the Lifetime original movie, "Brothers with Arms."

1 comment:

Bill said...

I don't know what's funnier: A) The fact that Melido Perez was expected to be the anchor of the Yankees' pitching staff for much of the early 90s...or B) The Wikipedia page for Jheri Curl saying "This article is about the hairstyle. For the New York City gang, see Jheri Curls."

Also, an indicator of how bad the 1992 Yankees were, is that Melido Perez that year pitched 247 2/3 innings to a 2.87 ERA...and his record was 13-16.