Monday, May 14, 2007
Classic card of the week
Cory Snyder, 1991 Score
Who can forget Cory Snyder? I mean, besides everybody? More importantly, who can forget Cory Snyder’s laser, rocket arm? Cory Snyder was indeed a rifleman, if you cannot already tell by the gusto in which he is rifling the ball in the above photo. Where’s the ball, you say? Probably like, a million miles away by now. Maybe light years even. In fact, Cory Snyder threw a baseball so hard, that it often caused him to transport into other dimensions, as evidenced, once again, by the above photo. In this particular dimension, the 6’3” 185 lb Snyder was transformed into a 7’4” 97 lb baseball player, who coincidentally, also played for the Cleveland Indians. And his name was also Cory Snyder, and he was a rifleman. That dimension was easy. In other dimensions, however, Cory Snyder would turn into a priest, or even a fireman, and he would have to solve various crimes. Sometimes he would even fall in love, which kind of sucked, because he would eventually be transported back to Cleveland circa 1991. Thus was the burden of throwing a baseball extremely hard. But seriously, how hard did Cory Snyder throw? Let’s find out: It’s just about unanimous that Cory has the strongest arm in the AL. For the past three years, he was voted the AL outfielder with the best arm. Although it often goes unheralded, the “Best Outfield Arm in the AL Award” falls somewhere in between the Cy Young Award and the Nobel Prize within the hierarchy of pop-culture individual achievements. For years however, it was a mystery as to why, year after year, Cory Snyder kept missing out on the unanimous vote for the prestigious award of best arm. I mean, the guy was being friggin’ transported into other dimensions for crying out loud! In 1994 however, Ken Burn’s in-depth documentary about baseball revealed that Cory Snyder never once voted for himself. This could have been due to the fact that, on several occasions when the votes were being cast, Cory Snyder was a fireman trying to solve a murder. But in 1993, it was revealed that Snyder actually did cast a vote, for Roger Clemens, who was not technically an outfielder. And that is the story of Cory Snyder, Rifleman.
Did you know?
“Jesse Barfield’s arm might be as strong, but I think Cory has a quicker release.” That’s what she said.