Lower division article: a breakdown

Is It Me Or Are We Going Too Far?

It’s you.

More and more I feel like I’m losing touch with the world we live in. 

Strong lede. You’ve established yourself as the type of person I would like to listen to.

Yes I realize that it’s largely due to my age

No, please, you’re being too hard on yourself. I think it’s ABOUT TIME we hear more from the middle-aged, straight white male point of view, especially when it comes to matters of inclusivity.

but I always through I was pretty understanding when it came to change and the need to accept it. 

“I always through I was pretty understanding”

I’m not sure I can say that any longer.

Technically you couldn’t say it just now.

Within the last few days my beloved Penn State University, which got eight years of my money as a parent of two graduates has as one newspaper called it, “become the latest college to make a move towards wokemania.”  That may be strong but it also may be correct.

I’ve never quite been able to understand the apparent deep, emotional connection people feel toward the multi-billion-dollar institutions they paid tens of thousands of dollars for other people to attend and/or paid thousands of dollars to attend themselves. It took me 17 years to pay off my student loan and I let out a hearty LOL every time my alma mater hits me up for money. But sure, rah rah.

“One newspaper.” I’m going to assume it’s not name-dropped because it’s a terrible newspaper.

The university’s faculty senate has approved a new resolution that will remove “gendered” and “binary” language from the school’s program and course descriptions that are considered not to be inclusive.  In a document released that explains the rational for the change, “the University, as with most all academic institutions world-wide, has grown out of a typically male-centered world and as such many terms in our lexicon carry a strong, male-centric, binary character to them.”

OK, cool. Not cool?

So what does this mean? 

Yes, what DOES this mean and how it will impact MY life?

Terms like freshman, sophomore, junior and senior will be replaced by first year, second year, etc.  Upperclassmen and underclassmen will go away with terms like lower division and upper division replacing them.  The resolution said the current words are “decidedly male-specific” or in some cases “both sexist and classist.” In addition the school is looking to get rid of gendered pronouns like him/her and he/she with them/they as it will make students feel more comfortable.

OH NO!

Stealing a question from someone on Twitter

Always a good journalistic practice, to attempt to enhance your non-argument with a hypothetical from a Twitter rando, but please, go ahead:

in reference to the school’s nickname, “How long before the male term Nittany Lion is replaced by the gender neutral Eastern Cougar?’ 

To get this straight: The worst theoretical outcome of this progression toward inclusivity would be having to wear a T-shirt with a cougar on it instead of a lion? 

I certainly hope it’s after I’ve left this world.

“I would literally rather die than witness my children’s college slightly alter their pretend mascot” is a helluva stand, but OK.

There is plenty to be mad about re: Penn State—ONE THING COMES TO MIND—including its nearly $4.3 billion endowment. Having to use the term “first-year” instead of “freshman” is not one of them. There is no way in hell that anyone, including the author of this nonsense, is actually upset about this; it will not affect his life in any discernable way whatsoever, at all, ever.

What’s fascinating—and by fascinating I mean utterly embarrassing—about this “old man yells at cloud” nonsense is its inherent rejection of the notion that the minor inconvenience of having to adjust to something new and unfamiliar might be a “sacrifice” worth making in the interest of numerous people feeling seen, acknowledged, and accepted. It demands an exploration of what, exactly, is so “beloved” about an institution if not the human beings who make it up.

Comments

Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
The truly disturbing issue is that Penn State will spend tons of money to implement this “wokeism” venture. Unfortunately, all of the Penn State parents will be footing the bill for this silliness not just those with students in the completely worthless Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies program. Of course, graduates in this field will be able to hang these feel-good diplomas next to their childhood participation ribbons.
Tony said…
Um, I think you missed the point of the post, Prof. Brilliant. Amazingly ironic handle, good sir. Also, why stop at “wokeism” and “participation ribbons” when you are just one “cancel culture” away from the falsely aggrieved pathetic old white guy trifecta.
Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
Sorry to make light of your Women's, Gender, and Sexuality degree. Tony. I'm also deeply saddened that I poked fun at the participation ribbon for your sixth place finish in Musical Chairs. I'm sure that's a memory you'll cherish forever. I do hope your degree came with a juice box, so at least whoever paid for your education received some sort of tangible benefit. Juice boxes are tasty!
Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
Tony, I see you are well on your way in the transition to Toni. It's too bad that Leyna Bloom beat you to be the first transgender Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
Tony said…
“Brilliant.”
odeleabernathey said…
Buy titanium for sale from China | Titanium Art
China online artisans are making their very own ceramic artworks using this 2013 ford focus titanium hatchback incredible technology. Explore titanium wedding band sets the best pieces of titanium band rings titanium for where is titanium found sale grade 5 titanium at a
The truly disturbing issue is that Penn State will spend tons of money to implement this “wokeism” venture.
Mr. Kenny, you continue to amaze, amuse, and delight me with your trenchantly hilarious (or hilariously trenchant) social commentary. I used to be on the side of the "oh, for crying out loud, leave the language alone" folks, back when I was just a woman and didn't realize how self-hating it was. Then one day I was reading Stephen King and realized he always introduced black characters by mentioning they're black, and it dawned me that pretty much all white male authors did that, the obvious inference being that these authors (and most of their readers) assume all characters to be white unless it's pointed out specifically that they aren't. Then I realized that applies to women, too: characters are assumed to be white males unless identified as another gender or skin color. Then I realized this "presumptive white maleness" was EVERYWHERE, and it started to really tick me off.

So yeah. The white males need to get over it. They've had most of recorded history to themselves and it's time to share. (Sorry to not be funny, but Dr. Prof. Brilliant's comments got me fuming. Thanks to Tony for the rebuttals.)