Anatomy of a Twitter exchange

If you’ve read The Man in the Garlic Tuxedo (and if you haven't, WHY NOT?), you know that my father-in-law has one of the more fascinating if infrequently utilized Twitter feeds in the Twitterverse. It’s so underutilized, in fact, that it sometimes opens itself up to hacking, which only adds to the overall quality:


Classic. But I had noticed some curious action recently from my father-in-law on Twitter that included him congratulating, in separate cases, the Colts Neck Police Department and Bill Gates, which, sure, I guess. But I’ve never known him to be passionate about either of those things, so I wondered whether he’d been hacked again, and I explored this possibility by examining his Twitter timeline. 

 The jury's still out, mainly because it's nearly impossible to differentiate an actual tweet from one a foreign bot might spit out. But through that process I stumbled on this:





I know I say this a lot, but this very well might be the strangest and most beautiful thing I have ever seen on the internet. It begs the question WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON? and we never get an answer. Even Jeff doesn’t know. Also, who is Jeff? No idea. The best.

Other questions and observations:

-What are “grilled lamb lions” and what do they have to do with living in a gated community? It was very much my preference to have this remain a rhetorical question, but I simply couldn’t resist the urge to click the link to Instagram …




Delightful, and certainly worthy of posting to MULTIPLE social media platforms.

 -For someone who so rarely uses Twitter, that my father-in-law is prompted to do so in order to respond to Jeff's post about “grilled lamb lions” is truly something. As if we needed a reminder, there is literally NO TELLING what will inspire him to tweet once every six months.

-“great way to enjoy in good company Jeff” I mean. I don’t even know. But I DO know that I'm inspired to make this into an infomercial:

 Having good company?

 Looking for a great way to enjoy something in them and also PUT something in them, food-wise?

 Then try out this special Hemlock Farms Gated Community wood-burning stove

 You can cook anything-- lamb, lion, lamp, loin, whatever

 Just ask Jeff





: It's great way to enjoy in good company I'm Jeff







 Thanks, Jeff! Just five payments of $29.99 -end

EAT, PRAY, LOVE AND LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE JEFF IS COOKING LAMB LOINS ON A WOOD BURNING STOVE is a sign I am going to have custom made on Etsy. 

-I noticed in Jeff’s bio that he’s in real estate, so he surely has a professional connection with my father-in-law, if not a personal one. In any case, the extent to which Jeff thinks he knows Tony has undoubtedly been compromised by this Twitter exchange. I am thoroughly enjoying the idea that Jeff has sent Tony dozens of business-related emails and real estate leads that have gone unreturned, only to finally get a response on an innocuous tweet about lamb lions. (And yes, I am purposely ping-ponging between "lamb lions" and "lamb loins" based on nothing but whim.)

-“what do you mean?” is such an earnest response, and one that speaks for literally every person who has or will view this exchange and one that, quite beautifully, speaks in some way for every person who has interacted with Tony at one time or another. On one hand, I feel bad that Jeff, innocently trying to post a picture of meat, has unwittingly become entangled in this confusion and now has a presence/tag on this blog. On the other hand, it's crucial that his singular statement gets the attention it deserves.

 what do you mean?

 It is sheer perfection, an evergreen sentiment. Kudos, Jeff.

-You may notice Jeff’s tweet has two replies. You may have also guessed who supplied the other, if you have any familiarity with my father-in-law’s penchant for failed Twitter replies where he “@”s the person with no actual response:

Brilliant. From start to finish, an absolute tour de force of an exchange. 10/10

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