Thursday, November 13, 2008

Classic card of the week


Jeff Snyder, 1992 Upper Deck

You probably notice the Star Rookie in the above card as none other than Jeff Snyder, the guy with the white-sounding name who was not, as it would appear, white, and who played for those immensely popular early 90’s Hawaii football teams with the rainbow-colored pants. But on the slim chance you are unfamiliar with this Star Rookie, we’re going to let the back of the card provide us with some additional insight:



University of Hawaii slotback…

That’s what she said.

…Jeff Snyder offers the Eagles the versatility of a Keith Byars, but in a smaller package.

This was pretty much what every team in the NFL was searching in vain for at the time, and have been searching for ever since: a player with the versatility of Keith Byars, but not as annoyingly large. Teams in the NFL are always looking for smaller players, as evidenced by the steady regression in player size the league has witnessed over the past decade. But it’s not just that -- they need these small players to be versatile too. And when you talk about versatility in football, there is really only one player that comes to mind: Keith Byars. In fact, as you’ll notice from the above tidbit, Byars himself was so versatile that to even imagine someone that could approach his versatility was heresy, hence the suggestion that Snyder offered the versatility “of a Keith Byars.” Not the Keith Byars. Because that would be crazy. Keith Byars played every position for the Eagles while also coaching the team and singing the national anthem before home games. If it weren’t for the elephant-like nature of his physical size, he would be in the Hall of Fame.

But what did people in the know think about Jeff Snyder?

“Jeff’s an electrifying returner without any doubt,” says Eagles head coach Rich Kotite.


Listen, when Rich Kotite has no doubts about a particular issue, you can pretty much carve it in stone. Also, Jeff Snyder’s returning abilities were so electrifying, that they must have cut off the circuit over at Google, because I could not find any additional information about Jeff Synder. Unless you count this.

So, to recap:

University of Hawaii slotback…

“Jeff’s an electrifying returner…”

Synder was the lone receiver chosen by Philadelphia.

Man, that guy was versatile!

Did you know?
Rich Kotite once said of fellow NFL head coach Ray Handley: He's an electrifying coach without any doubt.

UPDATE: A literate commenter pointed out that Jeff Snyder's name is actually Jeff Sydner. This probably explains why Google returned no results. Also, I cannot read. I apologize for nothing.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Uh, is name is actually Sydner. Is that less white-sounding to your racist sensibilities?

mkenny59 said...

Aaaand there goes the whole post. Why you gotta be so technical?

DWD said...

He is more high yellow. Sydner's name makes total sense now.

Gus said...

I was all the way at the bottom and noticed that you hadn't mentioned the typo in his name on BOTH sides of the card and then...