I received an email forward today which is a “Petition to Lower Gas and Diesel Prices in the United States.” Boy, is President Bush going to be surprised when he sees THIS at his desk! All this time, he’s been under the assumption that most Americans are content to pay four dollars for a gallon of gas, so this email petition is really going to knock his socks off.
It’s democracy at its best, really. When we don’t agree with something, there is no need to take any feasible means of solving it, not when we can type our name at the bottom of an email, forward it to 10 more suckers, and sit back in our chair at work and wait for things to happen. “Click. Send. Await for inevitable decline of gas prices.” Your job is done here – you may now concern yourself with other important details of life, like who you are going to forward the “God loves you! But He will not hesitate to STRIKE YOU DOWN if you don’t pass this along to seven of your friends!” email to.
Life is so much easier with email petitions. In fact, a few months ago, I signed a petition to turn mosquitoes into chocolate, so I am assuming that is going to happen any day now.
But back to the email forward in question. In keeping with the tradition of “Will the last person to leave please close the door?” the 2,000th person to “sign” this email document has an immense responsibility. In fact, the first 1,999 signatures will be rendered moot if person 2G doesn’t take the necessary step to ensure that gas and diesel prices will be considerably lower in the very near future. Not surprisingly, this step involves yet ANOTHER email, but I think you will understand the vast importance of this final step when you see the email address that all of the signatures must be forwarded to:
Yes – in case you were wondering, these signatures go STRAIGHT to the Commander in Chief himself, at, what I believe to be is his “work” email address. (From what I understand, his original choice was “sexytexan69@WhiteHouse.gov, until Karl Rove caught wind, and forced a change.) George W. Bush will undoubtedly be fiddling with paper clips and rubber bands at his humongous oak desk when…BAM! You’ve got mail, bitch! And 2,000 people are pissed off! You thought gas prices were fine, huh? Well we’ve got 2,000 pieces of evidence that state otherwise. So what are you gonna do about it, Georgie Boy?
Even he’s not that dumb.