Reunion Number Two

All new homeowners have little problems that arise with their new house, I would assume, like squeaky doors, and windows that jam. But we - that is, my wife and I - have a rather odd problem in our new house, and I was wondering if, by chance, that this problem is more common than I think.

You see, the toilet in our guest bathroom occasionally regurgitates feces, and this feature was surprisingly not included in our homeowner's contract.

Let's say that I have a bowel movement in our guest bathroom, which is quite common considering I am not allowed to have bowel movements in the main bathroom, because that's where my wife keeps important things, like 345 bottles of lotion. Anyway, I will flush the toilet, like a good husband, and everything appears to be okay in our new house.

So let's say it's the next day, and I have the urge to perform another act of defecation. I will open the lid of the toilet, and right there staring back at me, like he just went to hell and back, is yesterday's lunch, with a look that says, "Hey Mike, remember me? Do you have any friends I can play with?" And of course, I do. But that's not the point.

The point is that this is the guest bathroom, meant for guests, and my wife seems to think that any potential guests will be turned off by this feature, although I'm quite sure that any of MY guests would find this quite humorous, and would inquire as to how much I paid for this feature, and where they could get it. This is why I am not allowed to have guests over. Nevertheless, our guest bathroom has deemed us unable to have ANY people over, which is to say, it has become a real party pooper.

I think this all stems from a plumbing problem, and my wife thinks we should get this fixed, although my knowledge of plumbing begins and ends with Liquid Drano, which I have already tried. For some reason, it did not work.

So, is this a common problem? A better question would be, can you fix it? If you can. please contact me immediately. I'll be in the guest bathroom, getting reacquainted with some old friends.

Also, bring some Liquid Drano, because our door squeaks too.


Yeah Yeah said…
Man, Am I glad I read this afterlunch. As far as your plumbing problem goes you might want to try dumping 45 of those bottles of your wifes lotion down the toilet. Hey it can't hurt!