So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

"BROAD CERTIFIED" IN A POST SEEKING AN OBGYN IS THE GREATEST TYPO THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IT'S ALMOST ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU OVERLOOK THE OVERALL WTF-NESS BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, ALL GREAT MEDICAL SUCCESS STORIES START WITH NEXTDOOR " ... AND THAT'S HOW MILLIE WAS BORN AND ALSO HOW MY LIFE WAS SAVED" "WOW WHERE DID YOU FIND SUCH AN EXCELLENT DOCTOR" "REMEMBER THAT WEBSITE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WHERE I FOUND THE KNOCKOFF FINGERLINGS MONKEY ..." "NOT SURE IF THIS MONKEY YOU PUT ON YOUR FINGER IS EVEN REAL SO LET'S START THE BIDDING AT $10" TWO YEARS LATER "I WOULD LIKE TO FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU- THIS FINGERLINGS MONKEY I PURCHASED ON NEXTDOOR IN 2018 TURNED OUT TO BE INAUTHENTIC" BBB : HOW DID YOU DISCOVER IT WAS A FAKE "I PLACED IT ON MY PENIS AS A JOKE AND IT RUPTURED" BBB : THE MONKEY OR YOUR PENIS "BOTH" MERRY CHRISTMAS, SHITTER...

ENJOYING THIS STOCK PHOTO OF A WOMAN KNITTING "F*** YOU, BARBARA" INTO AN AFGHAN THIS IS A PARODY OF A BUZZFEED HEADLINE RIGHT KUDOS TO THEDAY TRADINGROOM-- NAILED IT 20 THINGS IS SO MANY THINGS TO IDENTIFY AS SPECIFICALLY RELATING TO ONE BREED OF CAT BUT OK ALSO AT FIRST I THOUGHT COON CAT WAS THE BREED AND THIS WAS TARGETED ONLY AT PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MAINE *AND* OWN COON CATS, WHICH IS ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE ABSURD ANYWAY WAS WONDERING IF ANY MORE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES ARE LIVING IN GORGEOUS HOUSES WITH THEIR PARTNERS COOL THIS IS A GOOD ADVERTISEMENT FOR CASH ROADSTER AFTER SEEING THIS I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT CASH ROADSTER, AND ALSO ABOUT TROY POLAMALU AND HIS BABY PARTNER CAN'T IMAGINE A BETTER ADVERTISEMENT FOR CASH ROADSTER TBH I STAND CORRECTED I THOROUGHLY ENJOY THE FALSE PREMISE OF THESE TEASER LINKS TEASER LINK : WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE UNDERTAKER'S SON ME : UH NONE. WAIT WHAT TEASER LINK...

BIG IF TRUE MAN'S FRIEND : SO HOW WAS PARIS MAN : PFFFT I DON'T KNOW I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS MAN'S FRIEND : ( LOGS ON IMMEDIATELY TO EXTRA CRISPY WHICH IS HIS HOMEPAGE FOR NEWS ) HOLY SH*T DO YOU KNOW HOW PHOTOSHOP WORKS ME : ( PHOTOSHOPS GRITTY INTO BACKGROUND OF V-J DAY IN TIMES SQUARE , SUBMITS IT TO DIRECTEXPOSE ) DIRECTEXPOSE : OMG HOW DID WE NEVER NOTICE THIS ANYWAY WHAT'S NEW WITH PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES HARD TO BELIEVE A HANDSOME SUPERSTAR NFL QUARTERBACK HAS A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN MISLED BY MORTGAGE AFTER LIFE BEFORE SO ... SOLD BUT UNTIL I'M TOLD OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT THEY DO *NOT* LIVE IN A GORGEOUS MANSION TRADING BLVD INTERN : WHAT PHOTO SHOULD WE USE FOR THE BREAKING NDAMUKONG SUH GORGEOUS MANSION STORY? I WAS THINKING ONE WHERE HE'S PLAYING FOOTBALL OR MAYBE ONE WHERE HE'S IN FRONT OF HIS GORGEOUS MANSION TRADING BLVD CEO : THIS ISN'T SPORTS ILLUSTRATED O...

You cannot count on me but ONLY because I do not live in Colorado and also I am not Carol. This mistake is very understandable however because I used to live in Colorado Arizona and my middle name is Carol Timothy. This is indeed very exciting news, Bridget, and you KNOW how much ya' boy (me) loves attending statewide political bus tours but unfortunately the state I live in is not Colorado. Also I am not Carol. Hello Branden. My thirst to spend my Friday night going door-to-door to talk politics with strangers in this current political climate is UNQUENCHABLE but unfortunately I live literally thousands of miles away from the doors on which you're asking me to knock. Also, the neighbors expecting Carol would be quite taken aback when they answer the door and--surprise!--it's me, not Carol. Because I am not Carol. (And not for nothing, Branden, but a smiley/blush face and American flag emoji would have gone a long way toward convincing me to reconsider...

ME : /AIMLESSLY WANDERING INTERNET/  I WONDER IF OLD PEOPLE CAN DO COOL EXERCISES THIS FIX LOOKS NEITHER SIMPLE NOR RELATED TO CONSTANT FATIGUE BUT OK GUNDRY MD FEELS LIKE EVERY GUNDRY MD-SPONSORED TEASER FEATURES A PICTURE OF AN OLD PERSON CONTORTING HIMSELF NO MATTER WHAT THE HEADLINE IS "SQUIRRELS MORE RABID THAN LAST YEAR CLAIM TREATMENT EXPERTS" /PICTURE OF MAN IN PRETZEL POSITION SUCKING HIS OWN BIG TOE/ ANYWAY, LOVE HOW 'PUBLISHES RESULTS' IS TRYING TO LEND LEGITIMACY TO SOMETHING CALLED 'ENERGY COCKTAIL' AND THIS PHOTO "SUBJECT A (ME) CONSUMED ENERGY COCKTAIL AGAIN ON DAY THREE, IMMEDIATELY FELT URGE TO PERFORM CIRCUS TRICKS NEAR CENTRAL PARK; SUBJECT A (ME) BOTH POOPED AND SPLIT PANTS DURING THIS EXERCISE; WILL RETURN TO THE LAB FOR ADDITIONAL FINDINGS" SEE NOW *THIS* LOOKS LIKE THE RESULTS YOU WANT FROM THE ENERGY COCKTAIL THERE'S JUST GOTTA BE A WANNABE TAP-DANCING GRANDPA WHO WAS WAITING TO GO VIRAL OUT TH...

HARD TO BELIEVE A SITE CALLED GRADUATEZ HAS A TYPO IN A TEASER LINK AD OTHER THAN THAT THO EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE AND IS REAL I HAVE NOT BEEN FISHING IN LIKE 15 YEARS BUT I WANT TO GO AGAIN JUST SO I CAN TAKE PICTURES AND CREATE A GOOGLE PHOTO ALBUM WITH THIS TITLE OBSERVATIONS: WHAT THAT IS ONE HELLUVA FOOT THAT IS ONE HELLUVA DOCTOR WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO HAPPY ABOUT THE PAINFUL FOOT CRACKS WHO KNEW THAT PAINFUL FOOT CRACKS COULD BE SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT- USUALLY PAIN MEANS EVERYTHING IS OK WOULD HAVE GONE WITH "THESE PICTURES WAS TAKEN JUST A SECOND BEFORE HAVING PAINFUL FOOT CRACKS STOPPED BEING FUN" AS SOMEONE WHO HAS SPENT A LIFETIME SCOURING BARNS FOR RARE AND INCREDIBLE FINDS, I FEEL BAD FOR THE PERSON WHO HAD TO WHITTLE THIS DOWN TO 50 I TYPED THAT VERY SENTENCE FROM A DOPE WORD PROCESSOR I FOUND TUCKED IN THE CORNER OF A HORSE STABLE IN '97 IT WAS COVERED IN HORSE POOP BUT WHO'S LAUGHING NOW ANYWAY JUDGING BY THIS PICTURE, ...

HOW IS THIS REAL IS ANYONE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING OR ARE WE JUST GOING WITH THIS JUST GOING WITH IT? OK UH IS THIS COMMENT FROM HEAVEN THEY DON'T HAVE SPELL CHECK UP THERE? DANG DOESN'T MATTER, YOU CAN STILL PAY YOUR RESPECTS TO THEM BY DRESSING UP LIKE ODIE FOR HALLOWEEN THIS YEAR, I MEAN C'MON WITH GARFIELD AS MY WITNESS I WILL MAKE IT MY LIFE'S WORK TO ENSURE THAT NO ONE EVER FORGETS GRANDMA TWEETY #REMEMBERGRANDMATWEETY SO IS THIS MEME TARGETED ONLY AT GRANDPARENTS NAMED AFTER CARTOON CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEN IT ALMOST MAKES SENSE WE CAN'T SAY AMEN ANYMORE? FIRST THEY TAKE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS AND NOW THIS NO MEME IS EVER TRULY FULFILLED UNTIL SH HUMES VISITS THE COMMENTS AND DROPS SOME REALNESS WE CAN'T SAY THAT ANYMORE MISS MY LITTLE GRANDMA ONLY GRANDMA I HAD NEVER HAD A GRANDPA WOULDA LOVED HIM SO BAD CHORUS : LITTLE GRANDMA, LITTLE GRANDMA, THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY CALLED HER/LI...