Teaser links of the week

ME: /AIMLESSLY WANDERING INTERNET/ I WONDER IF OLD PEOPLE CAN DO COOL EXERCISES

THIS FIX LOOKS NEITHER SIMPLE NOR RELATED TO CONSTANT FATIGUE BUT OK GUNDRY MD

FEELS LIKE EVERY GUNDRY MD-SPONSORED TEASER FEATURES A PICTURE OF AN OLD PERSON CONTORTING HIMSELF NO MATTER WHAT THE HEADLINE IS

"SQUIRRELS MORE RABID THAN LAST YEAR CLAIM TREATMENT EXPERTS" /PICTURE OF MAN IN PRETZEL POSITION SUCKING HIS OWN BIG TOE/

ANYWAY, LOVE HOW 'PUBLISHES RESULTS' IS TRYING TO LEND LEGITIMACY TO SOMETHING CALLED 'ENERGY COCKTAIL' AND THIS PHOTO

"SUBJECT A (ME) CONSUMED ENERGY COCKTAIL AGAIN ON DAY THREE, IMMEDIATELY FELT URGE TO PERFORM CIRCUS TRICKS NEAR CENTRAL PARK; SUBJECT A (ME) BOTH POOPED AND SPLIT PANTS DURING THIS EXERCISE; WILL RETURN TO THE LAB FOR ADDITIONAL FINDINGS"

SEE NOW *THIS* LOOKS LIKE THE RESULTS YOU WANT FROM THE ENERGY COCKTAIL

THERE'S JUST GOTTA BE A WANNABE TAP-DANCING GRANDPA WHO WAS WAITING TO GO VIRAL OUT THERE SEEING THIS LIKE OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME ... BILL???

THE ONLY THING THAT CAN DISTRACT ME FROM REFINANCING MY GOLD IS A PICTURE OF ALMOST 100-YEAR-OLD DORIS DAY DOING A SHOULDER PRESS

NOW I AM SATISFIED AND CAN GET BACK TO REFINANCING MY GOLD WITH FOCUS AND PEACE OF MIND

IF I ONLY HAD THAT SAME DORIS DAY PEACE OF MIND WHEN IT CAME TO MY PENNY STOCKS BUT ALAS LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS PERF-

ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET DORIS DAY IS ALMOST 100 BUT ALSO *IS*100 AND SHE WILL PUMP SOME IRON AND THEN SERVE YOU FAST FOOD AND ALL OF THIS AFFECTS THE STOCK MARKET SOMEHOW

ANYWAY LET'S SEE WHAT THE DOPE AND LEGITIMATE WEBSITE GRADUATEZ HAS TO OFFER

NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS BUT IT STAYS WITH THE OLD PEOPLE THEME, MAYBE WHO KNOWS WHATEVER DON'T CARE

ALSO HAPPY HALLOWEEN