Spam email of the week

Subject: Tax refund message!

Cool! Usually my tax refund message comes from my tax professionals after I've filed my taxes and relates to the taxes I pay in America, but this email from office@hmrc.gov.uk seems excited, if not legit.

Tax Refund Notification

Profesh header

HM Revenue & Custωms (HMRC)
Date: 19/12/2014

The “o” in “Customs” here is either a “w” in a weird font or a pair of boobs, in which case, sign me up for taxes! I look forward to arranging the details of my taxes with an organization that is under the impression there are at least 19 months. And what was your gross income for the month of Boinktober? I don’t see it listed on your W2.

A tαx refund of 472.49 GBP. (Still Pending) Due to invαlid αccount record we were unable to credit your αccount. Please submit a verified tαx refund form.

How you gonna mess with a man’s GBPs, UNCLE SAM? Sheesh. Anyway, yeah, let me just fill out a verified tax refund form, which is a thing, for this random email.

A refund can be delayed for a variety reasons. For exαmple submitting invalid recΩrds or αpplying after the deadline.

I appreciate you trying to pass the blame for this to me, but I keep my taxes tight, son. Valid and on time, and you know this, man. Also, the irony is not lost on me that an email accusing me of submitting invalid tax records spells “records” with a horseshoe.

To αccess your tαx refund, please follow the steps bellow:

Am I bellow? Should I bellow? Is that step one? I’m going to bellow just in case.

- downloαd the Tαx Refund Form αttached to this emαil

I’m good.

- open it in a browser (recommended mozilla firefox)

Downloading a zip file and opening a link in a browser are two different things, but I do appreciate the browser recommendation. I was going to open this in Explorer and there’s NO TELLING what could have happened there.

- follow the instructions on your screen

Thank you for making this a step.

Note: If you received these e-mαil in your BULK/SPAM section please add to your address book custΩms@hmrc.gΩv.uk

Can’t think of how an email containing that very sentence could have ended up in spam, but OK.