Nextdoor posts of the week


I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS

1) HOW HAVE YOU RESISTED THE URGE TO WEAR THAT

2) HOW WILL MY FRIENDS KNOW IT'S GUCCI



WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY FRANK

SUBJECT: POOL LINER REPLACED

DID YOUR POOL LINER GET REPLACED OR DO YOU NEED YOUR POOL LINER TO BE REPLACED

MAYBE THE MESSAGE WILL SHED SOME LIGHT

IF YOU NEED A POOL LINER

OK GOT IT, LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD YOUR POOL LINER REPLACED SO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA ONE

BECAUSE BUYING SOMEONE'S OLD POOL LINER THAT THEY HAD TO HAVE REPLACED SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT WAY TO SAVE A FEW BUCKS

"I SPENT $40,000 ON THIS NEW POOL BUT I GOT A DISCOUNT LINER FROM FRANK, YOU CAN HARDLY NOTICE THE RIPS" IS WHAT I WILL PROUDLY SAY TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS THEY SCRATCH THEMSELVES ON THE LINER THAT IS STRETCHED ACROSS THE POOL LIKE A GARBAGE BAG THAT DOESN'T FIT A GARBAGE CAN

WE CAN GET A GOOD PRICE

WHO IS "WE"

YOU AND ME, YOU AND YOUR WIFE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

FOR MORE THEN TWO THAT I HAVE NOW

ARE WE EMBARKING ON A POOL LINER BUSINESS VENTURE OR ARE YOU TRYING TO PAWN OFF YOUR OLD POOL LINER, I HAVE NO IDEA

THIS MESSAGE IS SO ALL OVER THE PLACE I'M NOT EVEN 100% SURE "THEN" IS A TYPO




I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY FIRST: LISA NEEDS BRACES ... DENTAL PLAN

MOVING ON

ROBERT: DON'T WORRY HONEY I'M GONNA FIND YOU THE BEST DENTIST ONCE I LOG INTO NEXTDOOR

DAUGHTER: DADDY AREN'T THERE BETTER RESOURCES FOR DENTAL PROV-

ROBERT: PLEASE BE QUIET WHEN I'M TYPING. HOW DOES THIS FIRST DRAFT SOUND: HELLO NEIGHBORS, WHO TAKES MY DENTAL INSURANCE

I WAS IN A BAND IN HIGH SCHOOL CALLED HORIZON YOUNG GRINS

HYG FOR SHORT, YOU COULD FIND US IN THE CLUBS




I NEED A BBQ PROPANE GAS TANK

"DO YOU MEAN A PROPANE GAS TANK"

I MEAN A BBQ ONE FOR MY BBQ GRILL

"AH I SEE SO A PROPANE GAS TANK"

A BBQ ONE

"SO JUST TO BE CLEAR, NOT AN INDUSTRIAL-SIZE PROPANE TANK FOR YOUR BACKYARD MANUFACTURING OPERATION"

A BBQ ONE, BUT ALSO USED

"WE ONLY HAVE NEW BBQ PROPANE TANKS ALTHOUGH ONE *IS* SPLATTERED WITH BBQ SAUCE"

DAMMIT FORGET IT, GONNA TRY MY LUCK ON NEXTDOOR

Comments

troy said…
Your posts make me really happy -- that I didn't join Nextdoor. Now I can pretend that no one like this is literally nextdoor to me.
mkenny59 said…
It's gonna be tough to pretend when you see your favorite neighbor rocking that Gucci sweatshirt.