Nextdoor posts of the week

GET YOUR BEACH BODY BY BODY BY BADGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY ... ED

TEXT THREAD:

"YOU'RE INVITED TO MY BBQ AND IT'S BYOB"

"COOL BUT FIRST I GOTTA BBBBBB"

"WOW WHAT IS THAT"

"BEACH BODY BY BODY BY BADGE"

"SOUNDS DOPE CAN I TRY"

"I DON'T KNOW ARE YOU A BB"

"WHAT'S THAT"

"BRAVE BOY"

"YES"

"OK LET'S DO THIS SO WE CAN BYOBB"

"WHAT'S THE EXTRA 'B' FOR"

"THAT'S A TYPO"

OK I GUESS

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY DO YOUR DOGS PISS ON THE CARPETS

WE'RE RUNNING A MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL ON OUR STATE-OF-THE-ART PET PISS DETECTOR 3000, PERFECT FOR THAT SPECIAL MOM WHO HATES DOG PISS

HOLD UP THO

PHONE CALL

RICH: HELLO IS THIS BILL

EARLE: ACTUALLY IT'S EARLE, BILL IS MY NEXTDOOR PSEUDONYM, IS THIS RICH

RICH: YES, WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING

EARLE: NO REASON, LISTEN TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE PISS DETECTOR MACHINE

MARTHA: /FROM UPSTAIRS/ EARLE! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO

EARLE: /PUTS HAND OVER RECEIVER/ NO ONE, DANG

RICH: WHO IS THAT

EARLE: NO ONE, I JUST-

MARTHA: YOU BETTER NOT BE SOLICITING OTHER CARPET CLEANERS, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STANELY MEANS TO ME

EARLE: DAMMIT MARTHA STANLEY IS NOT DOING THE JOB, THERE ARE PISS STAINS EVERYWHERE, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE GO OVER THIS

MARTHA: THAT'S YOUR DOG AND IT'S NOT STANLEY'S PROBLEM-- HE'S DOING THE BEST HE CAN WITH WHAT HE HAS

RICH: I'M GONNA GO