I am Carol

You cannot count on me but ONLY because I do not live in Colorado and also I am not Carol. This mistake is very understandable however because I used to live in Colorado Arizona and my middle name is Carol Timothy.

This is indeed very exciting news, Bridget, and you KNOW how much ya' boy (me) loves attending statewide political bus tours but unfortunately the state I live in is not Colorado. Also I am not Carol.

Hello Branden. My thirst to spend my Friday night going door-to-door to talk politics with strangers in this current political climate is UNQUENCHABLE but unfortunately I live literally thousands of miles away from the doors on which you're asking me to knock. Also, the neighbors expecting Carol would be quite taken aback when they answer the door and--surprise!--it's me, not Carol. Because I am not Carol.

(And not for nothing, Branden, but a smiley/blush face and American flag emoji would have gone a long way toward convincing me to reconsider. But as they say, never send a Branden to do a Linda's job. ((That job being to convince a Mike he is a Carol.)))

I missed this one, and I am so sorry. Who was the special guest? Was it Drake? UGH, it was probably Drake. I forgot to respond to this because-- no. No more excuses. I cannot let this happen again, and at this point the evidence is overwhelming. I am Carol.

Dammit Nick, I have a name, ya' know. And that name is Carol. RESPECT IT.

Also, seems like Karen's education platform is "donate." Cool.

Hoping the Democratic strategy of "send spam texts to the wrong state" is isolated to Colorado because hey ya' know MIDTERMS ARE TUESDAY ha ha well I'm sure this is fine us Carols are a strong lot, I'm just gonna uh go over /trails off, crawls into fetal position/