Chopsticks promo of the week

Credit to my brother-in-law, who took the time to examine his chopsticks long enough to discover this very helpful message. Let's break it down.

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.

• I am at home.
• We are eating Thai food.
• Based on capitalization, I enjoy the notion that there might be a Chinese restaurant somewhere out there called Chinese Restaurant from which these chopsticks are manufactured.
• Thank you.

Please try your Nice Chinese Food with Chopsticks

• Obviously I was leaning that way, but now I am sold.
• Again, eating Thai.
• Coercive Utensils would be a good name for a band. (h/t Dave Barry)
• This capitalization is as Nice as the Chinese food I am not currently eating.
• OK.

the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history.

• In retrospect, should have had a comma after "Cchopsticks."
• what
• Am I seriously supposed to be contemplating Chinese history as I am eating this Thai food? Ugh, fine, chopsticks-- you're the boss.
• This seems hella subjective for what should honestly be an unbiased chopsticks anecdote.
• Although admittedly, the only reason I ever use chopsticks is to not be perceived as so American, so these chopsticks have a point.
• Anyway, in conclusion, not a strong sentence, but at least it's finished.

and culture

• It wasn't finished.
• But nice touch having a period in the middle of the sentence as opposed to the end, which is traditional and typical of glorious English history. 
• Feels like these chopsticks don't adhere to AP Style.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by for what has been the first-- and I imagine last, but who knows!-- installment of "Chopsticks promo of the week." Have a Nice and glorious Day.