Spam email of the week

Do you know a doctor who is good at being a doctor but bad at having pens? Well have I got the email for you!

Subject: Promotional Pens for Doctors - Offer #7117

!!!

Here are my questions/comments:

• Does a "pcs" = a pen?
• If so, $75 seems like a lot for 300 pens, even on a doctor's salary. I would probably pay $7 for 300 pens. Or, better yet, zero dollars for zero pens.
• Then again, I am not a doctor. Just a writer.
• Are the non-customized pens blank or do they read "Your Message Here?" If the latter, I would like to order three non-customized pens because I think that's sort of funny, maybe, it's not, forget it, I don't want any pens.
• If choosing my pen colors becomes burdensome, is it possible for you to surprise the sh*t out of me by choosing the colors yourself? I realize that is risky but YOLO.

Give your customers a gift to remember your business

Are promotional pens really an effective means of medical advertising?

Man: (writing grocery list, stops to look at pen) You know, I should really have my spleen removed.

OK I guess they are.

Orders are shipped in 3 business days with FREE SETUP & FREE SHIPPING

I can't believe there isn't an exorbitant setup fee to imprint a message onto these plastic pens. And I feel bad for the delivery guy who has to carry 300 pens all by himself without even getting paid for it, but hey - not my problem. This is a great deal, and too good to pass up. I guess I will become a doctor after all.