Lower division article: a breakdown

Is It Me Or Are We Going Too Far?

It’s you.

More and more I feel like I’m losing touch with the world we live in. 

Strong lede. You’ve established yourself as the type of person I would like to listen to.

Yes I realize that it’s largely due to my age

No, please, you’re being too hard on yourself. I think it’s ABOUT TIME we hear more from the middle-aged, straight white male point of view, especially when it comes to matters of inclusivity.

but I always through I was pretty understanding when it came to change and the need to accept it. 

“I always through I was pretty understanding”

I’m not sure I can say that any longer.

Technically you couldn’t say it just now.

Within the last few days my beloved Penn State University, which got eight years of my money as a parent of two graduates has as one newspaper called it, “become the latest college to make a move towards wokemania.”  That may be strong but it also may be correct.

I’ve never quite been able to understand the apparent deep, emotional connection people feel toward the multi-billion-dollar institutions they paid tens of thousands of dollars for other people to attend and/or paid thousands of dollars to attend themselves. It took me 17 years to pay off my student loan and I let out a hearty LOL every time my alma mater hits me up for money. But sure, rah rah.

“One newspaper.” I’m going to assume it’s not name-dropped because it’s a terrible newspaper.

The university’s faculty senate has approved a new resolution that will remove “gendered” and “binary” language from the school’s program and course descriptions that are considered not to be inclusive.  In a document released that explains the rational for the change, “the University, as with most all academic institutions world-wide, has grown out of a typically male-centered world and as such many terms in our lexicon carry a strong, male-centric, binary character to them.”

OK, cool. Not cool?

So what does this mean? 

Yes, what DOES this mean and how it will impact MY life?

Terms like freshman, sophomore, junior and senior will be replaced by first year, second year, etc.  Upperclassmen and underclassmen will go away with terms like lower division and upper division replacing them.  The resolution said the current words are “decidedly male-specific” or in some cases “both sexist and classist.” In addition the school is looking to get rid of gendered pronouns like him/her and he/she with them/they as it will make students feel more comfortable.

OH NO!

Stealing a question from someone on Twitter

Always a good journalistic practice, to attempt to enhance your non-argument with a hypothetical from a Twitter rando, but please, go ahead:

in reference to the school’s nickname, “How long before the male term Nittany Lion is replaced by the gender neutral Eastern Cougar?’ 

To get this straight: The worst theoretical outcome of this progression toward inclusivity would be having to wear a T-shirt with a cougar on it instead of a lion? 

I certainly hope it’s after I’ve left this world.

“I would literally rather die than witness my children’s college slightly alter their pretend mascot” is a helluva stand, but OK.

There is plenty to be mad about re: Penn State—ONE THING COMES TO MIND—including its nearly $4.3 billion endowment. Having to use the term “first-year” instead of “freshman” is not one of them. There is no way in hell that anyone, including the author of this nonsense, is actually upset about this; it will not affect his life in any discernable way whatsoever, at all, ever.

What’s fascinating—and by fascinating I mean utterly embarrassing—about this “old man yells at cloud” nonsense is its inherent rejection of the notion that the minor inconvenience of having to adjust to something new and unfamiliar might be a “sacrifice” worth making in the interest of numerous people feeling seen, acknowledged, and accepted. It demands an exploration of what, exactly, is so “beloved” about an institution if not the human beings who make it up.

Comments

Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
The truly disturbing issue is that Penn State will spend tons of money to implement this “wokeism” venture. Unfortunately, all of the Penn State parents will be footing the bill for this silliness not just those with students in the completely worthless Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies program. Of course, graduates in this field will be able to hang these feel-good diplomas next to their childhood participation ribbons.
Tony said…
Um, I think you missed the point of the post, Prof. Brilliant. Amazingly ironic handle, good sir. Also, why stop at “wokeism” and “participation ribbons” when you are just one “cancel culture” away from the falsely aggrieved pathetic old white guy trifecta.
Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
Sorry to make light of your Women's, Gender, and Sexuality degree. Tony. I'm also deeply saddened that I poked fun at the participation ribbon for your sixth place finish in Musical Chairs. I'm sure that's a memory you'll cherish forever. I do hope your degree came with a juice box, so at least whoever paid for your education received some sort of tangible benefit. Juice boxes are tasty!
Tony said…
Well my degree is in the equally hippie-wokeist-commie-millenial-snowflake-socialist field of "the law" and was paid for with student loans that will follow me to the grave because college is unaffordable otherwise but hahahahaha you are so right women's issues are a joke hahahaha. Have my babies and then back to the kitchen with you, woman, am I right?? Imagine the idea that people other than us straight white males are trying to assert their rights because they are tired of getting the short shrift in this country just for being who they are - unthinkable! Must be a George Soros-led conspiracy originating from the basement of a pizza shop. Oh wait, wait, it's probably Antifa. Yep, definitely Antifa.
Dr. Prof. Brilliant said…
Tony, I see you are well on your way in the transition to Toni. It's too bad that Leyna Bloom beat you to be the first transgender Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
Tony said…
“Brilliant.”