Spam email of the week

Really having a tough time determining if this means “Yo, your blog is SICK, dawg,” or “Your blog is terrible.” NEVERTHELESS, it needs a doctor. And who better than (check notes) … Willium Scott?

Hey mikekenny.blogspot.com Team,

I have a team? I mean yes, I have a team.

Hope you are doing good !

I am doing OK. The rest of my team (peaks into adjacent room where daughters are arguing over who is a better pretend gymnastics coach as dog barfs on the rug) … not so much.

Your website “mikekenny.blogspot.com” communicates in many different ways to the visitor.

Rarely if ever have I heard the grand impact of my blog described so exquisitely and accurately. It DOES communicate in many ways to the visitor! One way is through the words I write on it. Also sometimes it calls people on the phone. One time it used body language to alert a police officer about a crime in progress.

I see your competitors

I have competitors? Who else is writing about this email and also memes about Phil Collins’s daughter? SHOW ME THEM.

ranked on 1^st page whereas I am unable to see your website anywhere on the 1^st page of Google, Yahoo and Bing.

What was the search, “website?” In that case, I am SHOCKED that my blog with 52 followers was not the first result. BUT WHAT CAN I DO?

Wanna to give us a chance to promote your website?

Yes. Absolutely. You had me at “Wanna to give.” And now I wanna to give you all of my money.

Love to share our credentials.

The name “Charleston Digital Firm” speaks for itself among blogheads like me, so no need. And even though you have an oddly spelled or misspelled first name and I cannot determine if you are Willium Scott, Sr. or a senior manager—and also I thought you were a doctor?—the most important thing to me is that people can find my blog on Bing. Because THAT’S what’s been holding me back all these years—not the sporadically-posted and very niche/bizarre/not good content. Anyway, my blog will call you.