Classic card of the week

Brad Muster, 1990 Score

Seen here is Brad Muster –- as my friend Bill would say, and has actually said -– “demonstrating how to carry the football with both hands, in front of the waist, while looking to the sidelines.” Indeed. Were Brad Muster, at this very moment, to take a hit to the midsection, his lungs and intestines would come out of his mouth and his bladder would be punctured with a football. Unless of course, on this particular play, Brad Muster was running up the middle, an area of the football field where he was indestructible:



Brad, a big, tough runner up the middle

Rushing to the outside however? Not so much, as Brad Muster had the elusiveness of a desk. But hey -– that’s why they don’t ask big, hunkering white dudes who went to Stanford to make guys miss. Speaking of Stanford, how does one get into such an esteemed institution? I can think of nobody better to ask than Wikipedia:

Muster prepped at San Marin High School in Novato, CA, graduating in 1983.

I’m sorry…he prepped at? The pretentiousness of that terminology has just punctured my bladder. I mean, it’s preppy enough to go to a prep school. But to describe your experience at a prep school as prepping, and then to go to Stanford, and also your name is Brad…I am going to be sick. How Brad Muster translated his background into a lunch pail-type fullback with the perceived blue collar Bears is a testament to his preparation. Nevertheless, tell us more about Stanford, Wiki:

Muster had many memorable runs as a running back at Stanford University. In the 1984 Big Game, Muster ran the ball for 204 yards on 34 carries. He had 78 receptions in the 1985 season

Thank you, for that inspiring recap of some of Brad Muster’s most memorable runs at Stanford. The descriptions of some of those runs really made me feel like I was there. Especially the run where he had 78 receptions in 1985. What else about Brad Muster?

ESPN’s Chris Berman,

Oh no.

known for giving athletes colorful and pun-filled nicknames, dubbed him Brad “Colonel” Muster. This is a play on Colonel Mustard from the board game Clue.

Ha, ha! Get it? Remember Colonel Mustard from the board game "Clue?" You kids today probably don’t realize it now, but back in 1990, all anyone could talk about was the board game "Clue." You couldn’t escape it. Everybody was playing "Clue." In my family, Saturday night meant going to Mass, and then coming home and playing "Clue." There was no discussion. I was always the slutty maid, and my weapon of choice was the thimble. Anyway, this was before the Internet. And that’s why Brad Muster’s nickname was not only hilarious, but topical.

But, you may be asking yourself, which professional wrestler did Brad Muster prefer most?

Muster is huge Ric Flair fan.

Okay then.

Jim Ross noted on the broadcast of the 1989 Chi-Town Rumble which Muster attended that he would wear a Ric Flair t-shirt underneath his jersey while playing.

I have no idea what just happened. My guess: That sentence was not penned by someone who went to Stanford.

Did you know?
In his Stanford days, it was widely noted that Brad could easily "Muster up some lovin." Whatever that means.