So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

Luis de los Santos, 1989 Donruss After playing the bad guy in " Ghost ," Luis de los Santos saw his worst fear come true - he began being typecast. He was asked to play a remorseless Spanish thief in several subsequent movies, including, "The Spanish Thief," "El Thief de los Espana," and "When Harry Met Sally." Frustrated by his acting career, Luis decided to pull a Miguel de los Jordin, and persue his first love - gambling. That didn't work. So Luis returned to acting, but remained committed to exploring new roles. When his agent sent him the script for "Major League," Luis pulled the pages to his chest, and wept for three days straight. He loved it! But a few things were lost in translation as far as the script was concerned, most notably the fact that the phrase "Cleveland Indians" translates, in Spanish, to "Royals de los Kansas City," mostly because the Dominican Republic refuses to recognize Cleveland as a ...

Pat Clements, 1987 Topps I bring up this card only because I am trying to figure out how it could possibly be worse. This is pretty much the most awful card I own. It brings nothing to the table. It's not even funny in the sarcastic sense, like the Pittsburgh Pirates in general. This is the most pointless card ever. Average player, no goofy name or pose, no stupid stats on the back...just terrible. I really don't even have anything to say about this card, except that I looked up the price of it in Beckett, and it's worth negative three cents. You are actually obligated to pay Topps three cents for every second you waste staring at it. And that's not even taking into account the fact that the guy in charge of the printing press the day this beauty was cut had apparently downed four gin & tonics at lunchtime. And I'd really like to know what supervisor gave this baby the green light, thus allowing it into circulation. I think I even recall, as a kid, taking solace...

Mark Davis, 1990 Upper Deck Few things bring as much joy to a baseball fan as opening a pack of cards and getting one that features an average player signing an autograph for someone else. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. But when that picture is taken in the journalistic style of photography normally reserved for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs, well, that's when you've got something truly special on your hands. Don't you think for one second that the Upper Deck photographer who took this extraordinary shot didn't dirty his corduroy blazer doing so. Cause he did. And he almost got a tick, laying all up in the grass like that! But it was all worth it once the world was treated to this breathtaking photo of Mark Davis, signing autographs in the sky, his royal blue uniform amidst the sky blue of life, a curly mullet blowing in the wind...magnificence is an understatement. "Ewww, I just swallowed a cloud," is what Mark Davis could often be overheard s...

Dear Family & Friends: Camp is great. Please send money. Arizona is great. And by great I mean unbelievably hot. But also great. And hot. Some of you may be wondering why it's taken me so long to get back on this freakin' blog. And you can all shove it because call me when you move to Arizona in the 115-degree heat and you can't find your socks because the movers packed them with the remote for the DVD player by accident. Everyone knows you can't blog without socks. And a computer, which we actually did manage to pack in the correct box, which made it that much more convienent to throw away when it arrived. Yes, after joking about it on my previous post, our computer did not make it. But it did manage to relay one last message to me when I plugged it in for the last time: "Hi Mike! Welcome to Arizona! I hope you said your goodbyes, because you won't be communicating through me any longer. You don't play fantasy sports, do you? What? That sucks. Maybe y...