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Showing posts from January, 2017

The Catholic fault

Normally this is a blog for silly, lighthearted stuff. Normally I avoid getting political. These, however, are not normal times, so here goes.
It has always frustrated me to no end how conservative political ideology hijacked Christianity to the point where the two have become synonymous; that a Catholic or Christian would vote for a candidate simply on the grounds that he or she is Republican is maddening, a disservice to the democratic process, an indictment of the already absurd two-party system, and, most importantly, a betrayal of the careful considerations our faith demands.
This political season, my family sat through several Catholic homilies that, “without getting political,” less than subtly encouraged a particular presidential vote based on one issue—abortion. (Some homilies we didn't sit through, and would never sit through, lacked all subtlety.) A tremendously serious issue without doubt; however, an issue with layers upon layers of complexities, including but not lim…

Facebook meme of the week

Image
SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE MINION
YOU MAKE MIS-    TAKES?
NAH FAM
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF YOU'RE JUST A MINION
YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS
WHO ELSE IS FEELIN' THIS DOPE MEME

WANDA IS FEELIN' IN

GAIL IS DEF FEELIN' IT
WHO DIS
PERSON ON OTHER LINE: MEME SURVEY HOTLINE
WUT
MEME SURVEY HOTLINE: WE SEE FROM YOUR PROFILE THAT YOU JUST VIEWED A DOPE MINION MEME - CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE USING ONLY ONE-SYLLABLE WORDS
STRAIGHT
MEME SURVEY HOTLINE: THANK YOU. NOW WOULD YOU VENTURE TO SAY DAMN STRAIGHT OR JUST STRAIGHT
STRAIGHT. HEAR MUCH, DAMN
MEME SURVEY HOTLINE: GOT IT, WOW YOU REALLY TELL IT LIKE IT IS
GAIL. LAW. OUT. (hangs up)
WHO ELSE IS FEELIN' IT

SONNY GOODE CAN RELATE, BEST BELEEEE-DAT


SONNY GOODE: PROUD AMERICAN BUT ALSO KINDA TIRED

PREACH YVONNE
THE ONLY PROPER RESPONSE TO THIS MINION MEME IS TO REAFFIRM IT BY ALMOST QUOTING O-TOWN

"AND THE AWARD FOR BEST SELF-AFFIRMING INTERNET MINION MEME GOES TO ..."
(MARIANNE GOENS CLUTCHES CHEST)

UH

OH JEEZ

MSN quick links of the week

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MY HOUSEPLANT LOOKS LIKE A PLANT IN THE HOUSE BUT IN THE WILD IT LOOKS LIKE A PLANT


THIS QUESTION MAKES A LOT OF ASSUMPTIONS
BUT YES
THERE IS ALSO MOLD ON MY CHILD SOPHIE
SHOULD I BE WORRIED


I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS CRAZY CHEF WHO IS ALWAYS FEUDING WAS INVOLVED IN A CRAZY CHEF FEUD


HI IT’S MIKE CAN YOU TELL ME 50 WAYS TO GIVE MY FINANCES A FRESH START
CPA: UH WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
YOU KNOW … FRESH
CPA: I JUST
FINE CAN YOU GIVE ME LIKE 25 WAYS
CPA: I REALLY DON’T KNOW WH-
UGH ARE YOU EVEN A PROFESSIONAL


JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
I HAVE DISSECTED THIS HEADLINE OVER THE COURSE OF THREE GRUELING DAYS AND IT MAKES LESS SENSE THAN WHEN I STARTED


THINK OF MY FINANCES AS OATMEAL
CPA: OH OK SO YOU WANT ME TO PREPARE YOUR FINANCES IN A CRAZY FRESH WAY AS IF I WERE DISCOVERING NEW WAYS TO MAKE OATMEAL
YES
CPA: DOES IT HAVE TO BE CRAZY FRESH OR JUST FRESH
UM JUST FRESH, I DON’T WANT TO BE A DIVA
CPA: OK I THINK I G-
WAIT …
CPA: …
CRAZY FRESH


THIS HOUSE…

Spam email of the week

From: <arias@infomed.sld.cu>
Date: December 23, 2016 at 3:56:38 PM EST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: From Paul

Everything seems on the up and up so far.
From. Paul Ndopu

Tel: 
+27834763647,

PLEASE GET BACK TO ME BELOW MY PRIVATE Email= 
paulndopu4@gmail.com

OK. Can I read this first? Let me read this first.
Dear Friend

We are here with our mother

In anxious times such as these, I don’t require context or a backstory. Just get to the point – are you all there and, if so, is your mother there as well? This is the foundation on which I will base my decision to proceed or nah.
Btw, when this email is made into a movie, I want Morgan Freeman to dramatically narrate this opening line on some “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” type ish.
meanwhile we got your name in our search for a foreign partner who will help us as we and our mother status as refugee cannot allow us to transfer our money.
I think I speak for all of us undisclosed recipients when I say, I underst…