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Showing posts from March, 2016

Facebook meme of the week

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CALL ME OLD SCHOOL WITH A CAPITAL “S” BUT I RESPECT THE ONE PERSON ON EARTH WHO IS OLDER THAN ME JUST HOW I WAS RAISED, I AM 109 NOW OH YOU THINK JUST CAUSE I’M 65 I FORGOT MY MANNERS I DON’T THINK SO B*TCH, HERE IS A LIST OF PEOPLE I HELP IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE -OTHER -OTHETS -ELDER “IM PAGAN & BE NICE CAUSE ITS WHO I AM” – SHEENA MOORE THIS IS THE “I HAVE A DREAM” SPEECH OF NONRELIGIOUS TOLERANCE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY BRANDY USHER HESTER, NO GOOD DEED FOR OTHER GO UNPUNISHABLE "MO MANNERS MO PROBLEMS" - BIGGIE SMALLS, OLD SCHOOL RAPPER CARL WEIDOW FOR PRESIDENT THESE PROBLEMS WE HAVE GENERALIZED CAN EASILY BE SOLVED WITH A LITTLE OLD FASHIONED PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT I WILL CLOSED FIST PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE MARINE STYLE ONE TIME I SAW A KID ACT UP IN A STORE AND SO I DEVELOPED MY WORDVIEW IN THE SHOE SECTION OF MARSHALLS THIS MEME IS GOOD AND ALL BUT HOW DO WE RESP

Facebook meme of the week

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“OK, great stuff … sounds like you have a lot of experience and a whole lot of strengths. Now the tough part of this whole interview process—tell me about your biggest weakness." MY WEAKNESS IS THAT I CARE TOO MUCH! “Wow, even your weakness is a strength by many measures. You’re hired.” SOMETIMES I JUST WISH I DIDN’T CARE AT ALL. “Well that’s a terrible thing to say. You’re fired.” THIS AWESOME QUOTE IS COURTESY OF AWESOMEQUOTES4U.COM WHO ORIGINALLY SAID THIS I THINK IT WAS MORGAN FREEMAN OR LEE IACOCA IT’S RICKY TATE AGAIN EVERYONE ONE THING HE DEFINITELY DOES CARE ABOUT IS COMMENTING ON FACEBOOK MEMES RUN-ON SENTENCE MUCH? J/K RICKY TATE, YOU DO YOU YOUR WEAKNESS IS MAKING PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU REALLY GOT SLAPPED SMH GREAT STUFF THO, I ENJOYED THIS BOOK THINK WE JUST MADE A LOVE CONNECTION GOOD LUCK IN YOUR LIFE TOGETHER DIANE AND EDMUNDO ASHTON POWELL’S WEAKNESS IS STALKING WOMEN ON THE INTERNET WH

Facebook meme of the week

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LOL POOR PEOPLE BE CRAY POOR PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO PICK UP COINS BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY HA HA HA HA HA HA HA POOR PEOPLE FIIIIIIGHT! THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN MESSING WITH POOR PEOPLE IS MESSING WITH THE ELDERLY WHILE DRUNK “NICE TRY YOU OL’ DECREPIT WORLD WAR II VET, BUT THAT NICKEL IS STUCK TO THE SIDEWALK! GET A JOB!” (TAKES SHOT) ALL JOKING ASIDE THIS STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE CYNTHIA GAVE AN OLD PERSON A QUARTER WAY TO GO CYNTHIA—YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON YOU’D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY PEOPLE NEED MONEY LOL INDEED MADELINE COOL STORY, BRUH I’M GOING TO GLUE CAPITAL LETTERS TO THE FLOOR AND SEE WHO TRIES TO PICK THEM UP I'LL LET YOU NO MAKE ME A "POOR PEOPLE ACTING POOR" SHUTTERFLY ALBUM, LOANN I BET YOUR NAME IS LOANN BECAUSE YOU NEVER NEEDED ONE BOOOOOOOOOOO WANDA WHO INVITED WANDA GO HOME SOCIALIST PIG YOU YOU SEEM SEEM

The Field Trip Chaperone Questionnaire

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I arrived home one day last week and literally the second I walked in the door my wife said, “You’re chaperoning her field trip next month.” The “her” she was referring to was our oldest daughter who, at that very moment, was screaming bloody murder from her bedroom because her pencil broke in half … or because she had been told to put her slippers on; I honestly can’t remember and also who cares at this point. ANYWAY, it looked like I was chaperoning a field trip I guess! Should be fun, or terrible. I’m leaning toward the latter based on the amount of paperwork I have to fill out in advance. I completed about 12 forms—one of them was a reference form that reminded me I have zero friends; however, it made me smile to think of the school district contacting my current and former coworkers to see if I am fit to walk around a museum in the company of children. My wife dropped these forms off at the school and then they emailed her to say that I had three more forms to complete.

Facebook meme of the week

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HELLO ADULT FRIENDS HERE IS BABY TOM FROM TOM AND JERRY SUCKING HIS THUMB YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT’S FRIDAY WONDERFUL WEEKEND HER FINGERS GOT CARRIED AWAY SHE LOVES HER WEEKENDS BUT SHE WORKS ON THE WEEKENDS BUT SHE IS A HAPPY BUNNY THE RUMORS ARE NOT TRUE I DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO WALGREENS TO GET HANGOVER MEDICINE I CAN HANDLE THE LIQUOR I DRINK WHILE WATCHING BABY TOM AND JERRY CARTOONS BECAUSE I AM A GROWN ASS MAN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND WHERE IS MY FRIDAY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE DAMMIT KNOCK KNOCK WHO’S THERE BABY TOM BABY TOM WHO BABY TOM FROM TOM AND JERRY SUCKING HIS THUMB IT’S FRIDAY YA’LL LOL BE SAFE ALL YOU SNOWERS OUT THERE DAVID B. JONES TELLIN’ IT LIKE IT IS DAVID B JONES’IN FOR SOME YOUNG TOM AND JERRY WHAT IS WHAT A WONDERFUL PET DOES SUCK ITS THUMB IN THE SUNSHINE OR WISH EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK A HAPPY FRIDAY EITHER WAY YOU'RE RIGHT I GUESS THIS TOM

Facebook meme of the week

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THANK YOU WHAT IS A VIRTUAL CUP OF COFFEE (looks out window on to clear street, sunny day, brings pretend cup of coffee to lips, takes pretend sip) "LOOKS LIKE A ROUGH ONE TODAY AIN’T THAT RIGHT GRANDKIDS" (cats meow) "HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE SO EARLY MY COFFEE CONSUMPTION IS RUINED" SIX LIKES FOR PAM ANDERSON BTW I’LL TAKE A PRETEND CUP OF COFFEE OVER A REAL CUP FROM PANERA ANY DAY BOOM ROASTED YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BLOGGER, PANERA KIMBERLY PRZBYLOWICZ IS DRINKING ALONE AGAIN YOU GUYS TIME FOR ANOTHER #PRZBYLOWICZINTERVENTION SPONSORED BY FOLDGERS THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP, IS GOING ON THE INTERNET AND PRETENDING TO HAVE A CUP YOU ARE LIKE THE THIRD CRAZIEST GRANDMA I’VE MET ON THESE MEME ALONE, BEST TO STEP UP YOUR GRANDMA GAME, SON NEVERTHELESS YOU ARE INDEED VERY BLESS TO HAVE MANY KIDS MOVIES GOOD LUCK AT THE DOCTOR WILLIAM NABORS DOCTOR : HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING