Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Facebook meme of the week



CLASSIC JERRY, THE MOUSE WHO DOESN’T SEEK YOUR APPROVAL

ESPECIALLY TOM’S LOL

PRETTY SURE JERRY IS THE MOUSE RIGHT



WTF

ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE NOT GIVE A RATTS ASS



I LIKE YOU PENNY



JINA WITH A “J” DOESN’T GIVE ONE RATT ASS

IT’S LIKE SERIOUSLY, PICK ONE OF THESE ASSES




AND THAT’S THE ASS JINA DON’T GIVE



CAROLYN HAS A TEE SHIRT THAR SAYS SHE DON’T GIVE A RATTS ASS









GUILTY AS CHARGED, KATHY LOL

OR MAYBE KATHY KAY HAS SMARTIE PANRS THAR SAYS SHE DON’T GIVE A RATTS ASS

WE CAN MAKE AN ENTIRE OUTFIT OUT OF THIS MEME




UMM PRETTY SURE THAT’S A CATTS ASS NOT A RATTS ASS

BUT THANK YOU DIXIE TWEEDY YOUR POINT IS WELL RECEIVED

ANYWAY I'M OFF TO PLAY A TOM AND JERRY IS COOKING GAMES, AFTER ALL TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Facebook meme of the week



THIS MEME APPEALS TO EVERYONE

MUPPETS FANS, CAR MECHANICS, COMEDY LOVERS

MOST OF ALL GRAMMAR FANS AND PEOPLE WHO LOVE SYNTAX

“I THINK THE CLUTCH HAS GONE IN MY BUTT”

A)     I SAT ON THE CLUTCH AND NOW IT IS IN MY BUTT … I THINK

B)      THE CLUTCH THAT PREXISTED IN MY BUTT HAS FAILED

C)      SUDDENLY MY BUTT HITS VERY WELL WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION

D)     SUDDENLY MY BUTT HITS VERY POORLY WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION

ANYWAY KERMIT SAID THIS

ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD



ASIDE FROM PREVENTING HIM FROM GETTING HIS ASS IN GEAR THE FAILED BUTT CLUTCH HAS ALSO CAUSED RANDALL YARBROUGH’S ASS SOME DIAREAHHA

HANG IN THERE RANDALL



“IF A CLUTCH IS STUCK IN YOUR BUTT, STICK YOUR FOOT IN YOUR BUTT AND THEN MAKE THE GAS PEDAL, WHICH IS ALSO IN YOUR BUTT, FEEL BAD ABOUT ITSELF.” – LAKE SINGH

LAKE SINGH IS LIKE THE GUY ON THAT SHOW HOUSE—UNORTHODOX BUT TRUST ME IT WORKS



WELL CHARLES AT LEAST YOU’RE CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY FROM D COUCH WITH THOUGHTFUL COMMENTARY

I FEEL U KERMIT

HOW MANY GREAT DISSERTATIONS HAVE BEGUN AS SUCH



WHO IS “US” BETTY SINGLETARY SPEAK FOR YOURSELF MY BUTT IS JUST FINE



A TYPO ON “LOL” FROM SOMEONE WITH NO PROFILE PIC IS THE ONLY WAY TO END THIS

THANK YOU EVERYONE

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Spam email of the week

Subject: Hello Ramos

This spam email was forwarded from my friend, whose first name—you might have guessed—is not Ramos. (Let’s just call her L. Ramos. Wait, no, that’s too obvious. Call her Lisa R.) There is no distinction of Ms., so one might wrongly assume this email is from an ol’ college pal—“YO Ramos!” Still, this is just the subject header, and I’m sure this odd informality will be resolved immediately in this otherwise obviously profresh correspondence.

Hello Ramos

It was not resolved.

I am Darany Meaker,

I am Ramos. Turns out we both have super obvs names, BESTIES.

a solicitor at law,

I like “solicitor at law” because “lawyer at law” is redundant at law.

I am soliciting

You don’t say. Execute your job title perfectly much?*

*I realize I am knee deep in a “much?” phase, and a justifiable counter would be: “Much much?” Please forgive me; I’ll snap out of it soon.

Your consent to stand a s a next of kin to my client Mr. Ramos who bears the same last name with you,

This solicitor AT LAW came hard with the illegality pretty quick. I may be but a humble blogger at law, but I’m pretty sure you can’t stand as next of kin based on last name alone. 

He worked with an oil company here in Cambodia.

Although, Cambodian judges are notoriously skeptical that a shared last name could transcend family ties, and might award you this case without DNA evidence. I say go for it, Ramos (me)!

On the March 12th 2011,

*the* 

my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car crash and lost their lives.

I am comforted that this fake tragedy will have a happy ending—someone named Ramos getting paid, son.

Please contact me for more details in respect to the claim of his Fund valued ($9.2Million) left behind before it gets confiscated by the Finance Firm.

Oh so that’s how it works in Cambodia? If an estate has no next of kin, the money is awarded to a private finance firm? Hmmm. Hear that, OBAMA?

I intend to offer you 35% of the total funds for your assistance, if you accept this offer, urgently get back to me for more information.

Counteroffer: I take 100% of the funds because I am Ramos and you are not.

Regards
Darany Meaker Ramos

HEY!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Facebook meme of the week


I WONDER TOO ELMO

NOBODY SAYS HELLO TO INANIMATE MEMES FEATURING CHILDREN’S SHOW PUPPETS ANYMORE

IT’S LIKE GET OFF YOUR VIDEO GAMES AND SAY HELLO TO THIS ASEXUAL FURRY THING YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS

ANYWAY THIS IS A GRAND SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT AMONG SANE ADULTS

HOW DOES THIS WORK WE JUST SAY HELLO RIGHT

OK



PLAN BABY SHOWERS WAY TOO FAR IN ADVANCE MUCH?



ELMO NEVER SAID HE (?) LOVED YOU DON’T PUT WORDS IN ELMO’S MOUTH



I DON’T NORMALLY RECOMMEND PUTTING FACEBOOK COMMENTS ON RESUMES BUT THIS IS TOO WELL-CRAFTED AND HILARIOUS NOT TO



THIS IS NOT A GOSH DANG CONVERSATION TIM KNAPP AND ALSO: [SIC]

YOU HAD ONE JOB



SECURITY!

THIS IS CLASSIC NICHOLAS OG NICKYB BYSTRON, SOCIAL MEDIA GADFLY



CONGRATULATIONS STEVE ON MANAGING A TYPO WITHIN A TWO-WORD COMMENT THAT DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS ON AN ELMO FACEBOOK MEME. SOMETHING TO TELL YOUR GRANDKIDS ABOUT.*



EVERYONE STOP SNICKERING THERE ARE NO DUMB QUESTIONS ON THIS ELMO MEME

JULIO COULD YOU PLEASE REPHRASE THE QUESTION IN ENGLISH



DAMMIT JULIO GET OUT



HELLO LARRY YOU ELMO-ASS-LOOKIN’ FOOL



I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE BIT

IMAGINE YOU WERE DATING VIKRANT AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL AND THEN YOU SAW THIS COMMENT SHOW UP IN YOUR TIMELINE



COOL STORY BRUH

ANYWAY THAT WENT WELL I THINK WE’RE ALL GONNA BE OK

UPDATE: Our good buddy troy alerted me to Steve's "It back." comment, and I obviously didn't get it originally. Apologies to Steve for misreading his comment; on the contrary, by following instructions literally and responding in jest to this Elmo meme, Steve has completely redeemed himself. I'm uncertain if this update provides clarity or sends us further down the rabbit hole of nonsense, but I am good either way.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Facebook meme of the week



THIS MEME IS DOPE AS HELL EXCEPT:

-Dropped Nov. 11
-“Santa”
-“self-cleaning”
-“Thank you”
-Christmas tree and presents are hilariously Photo-Shopped in.
-Pretty sure Jon cleans the house, not Garfield.
-Literally every single comment


NOPE


I THINK YOU CALLED THE WRONG MEME


IRRELEVANT BUT OK I WILL JOIN I GUESS J/K LOL GO GIANTS


STOP SEXUALIZING GARFIELD PLEASE


ALMOST


“YOU’RE WELCOME BRITTANI I BASICALLY SAVED YOUR STUPID COMPANY ON THIS GARFIELD MEME.” – MELISSA ANNE, MARKETING SPECIALIST


“WHAT ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE FACEBOOK MEME COMMENTS LOL” – SANTA


OMG WHO IS GOING TO TELL JUDY ABOUT SANTA


“DANG GIRL AND WHaT YOU NEEDS IS TO NOT TYPE WITH YOUR THUMBS AND ALSO STFU” – PAM


THANK YOU CHRISTINE

EVERYONE, CHRISTINE GUNDERSON SHOULD BE IN HER NEW APARTMENT SOON

FYI


WELL SAID VICKI

THIS MEME IS FOR THE TROOPS

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Facebook meme of the week



HELLO MY NAME IS TURKEY AND I AM HERE FOR THE TURKEY SLAUGHTER

WAIT A SECOND THEY ARE GOING TO PUT STUFFING UP MY BUTT AFTER I AM SLAUGHTERED

THAT’S JUST TOO FAR

I CAME HERE TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN DIGNITY BUT NOW I AM GOING TO LEAVE


STOP RUINING THIS HILARIOUS MEME WITH YOUR TURKEY ENEMA STORIES TAYLOR

IT’S LIKE WHO HASN’T WORKED IN TURKEY FACTORY BEFORE, WE ALL KNOW THE DEAL OK?

WHAT HAPPENS AT TURKEY FACTORY ETC ETC


WHAT

WHAT

OMG IF I WERE GIVEN A FINITE NUMBER OF "WHAT"S TO USE IN LIFE I WOULD BLOW THEM ALL IN RESPONSE TO THIS COMMENT


JAMES DOESN’T NEED A WHOLE TURKEY BECAUSE HE LIVES ALONE L

THIS IS A DECENT EHARMONY POST

LIKES: ROCK CORNISH HENS, HILARIOUS FACEBOOK MEMES

DISLIKES: DRY-ASS TURKEY SANDWICHES, CHICKS WITH KIDS – KEEP WALKIN’


DAMMIT BONNIE YOU CROSSED THE LINE OF GOOD TASTE

I'M SURE THE DAUGHTER FEATURED IN YOUR PROFILE PIC SAW THIS COMMENT AND WAS SUPER PROUD

WHO IS THE ANIMAL NOW, BONNIE

WHO IS THE ANIMAL NOW


NAILED IT


“HOLD MY CALLS – I HAVE TO COMMENT ‘BANANA BABA’ ON THIS TURKEY MEME.” – DIANE TO HER SECRETARY AT HER FORTUNE 500 COMPANY


DANG ERMA, RUIN TURKEY MEMES MUCH?

YOU AND TAYLOR SHOULD GET A ROOM … AT TURKEY FACTORY


I DON’T KNOW GUYS MAYBE MELISSA HAS A POINT

I MEAN THIS MEME IS FUNNY BUT AT WHAT COST

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK


HA HA OH YEAH I FORGOT THIS TURKEY IS KINDA UGZZ LET’S KILL IT AND EAT IT LOL



ME NEITHER JANET

ME NEITHER