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Showing posts from November, 2015

Facebook meme of the week

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CLASSIC JERRY, THE MOUSE WHO DOESN’T SEEK YOUR APPROVAL
ESPECIALLY TOM’S LOL
PRETTY SURE JERRY IS THE MOUSE RIGHT


WTF
ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE NOT GIVE A RATTS ASS


I LIKE YOU PENNY


JINA WITH A “J” DOESN’T GIVE ONE RATT ASS
IT’S LIKE SERIOUSLY, PICK ONE OF THESE ASSES



AND THAT’S THE ASS JINA DON’T GIVE


CAROLYN HAS A TEE SHIRT THAR SAYS SHE DON’T GIVE A RATTS ASS








GUILTY AS CHARGED, KATHY LOL
OR MAYBE KATHY KAY HAS SMARTIE PANRS THAR SAYS SHE DON’T GIVE A RATTS ASS
WE CAN MAKE AN ENTIRE OUTFIT OUT OF THIS MEME



UMM PRETTY SURE THAT’S A CATTS ASS NOT A RATTS ASS
BUT THANK YOU DIXIE TWEEDY YOUR POINT IS WELL RECEIVED
ANYWAY I'M OFF TO PLAY A TOM AND JERRY IS COOKING GAMES, AFTER ALL TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING

Facebook meme of the week

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THIS MEME APPEALS TO EVERYONE
MUPPETS FANS, CAR MECHANICS, COMEDY LOVERS
MOST OF ALL GRAMMAR FANS AND PEOPLE WHO LOVE SYNTAX
“I THINK THE CLUTCH HAS GONE IN MY BUTT”
A)I SAT ON THE CLUTCH AND NOW IT IS IN MY BUTT … I THINK
B)THE CLUTCH THAT PREXISTED IN MY BUTT HAS FAILED
C)SUDDENLY MY BUTT HITS VERY WELL WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION
D)SUDDENLY MY BUTT HITS VERY POORLY WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION
ANYWAY KERMIT SAID THIS
ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD


ASIDE FROM PREVENTING HIM FROM GETTING HIS ASS IN GEAR THE FAILED BUTT CLUTCH HAS ALSO CAUSED RANDALL YARBROUGH’S ASS SOME DIAREAHHA
HANG IN THERE RANDALL


“IF A CLUTCH IS STUCK IN YOUR BUTT, STICK YOUR FOOT IN YOUR BUTT AND THEN MAKE THE GAS PEDAL, WHICH IS ALSO IN YOUR BUTT, FEEL BAD ABOUT ITSELF.” – LAKE SINGH
LAKE SINGH IS LIKE THE GUY ON THAT SHOW HOUSE—UNORTHODOX BUT TRUST ME IT WORKS


WELL CHARLES AT LEAST YOU’RE CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY FROM D COUCH WITH THOUGHTFUL COMMENTARY
I FEEL U KERMIT
HOW MANY GREAT DISSERTATIONS HAVE BEGUN…

Spam email of the week

Subject: Hello Ramos
This spam email was forwarded from my friend, whose first name—you might have guessed—is not Ramos. (Let’s just call her L. Ramos. Wait, no, that’s too obvious. Call her Lisa R.) There is no distinction of Ms., so one might wrongly assume this email is from an ol’ college pal—“YO Ramos!” Still, this is just the subject header, and I’m sure this odd informality will be resolved immediately in this otherwise obviously profresh correspondence.
Hello Ramos
It was not resolved.
I am Darany Meaker,
I am Ramos. Turns out we both have super obvs names, BESTIES.
a solicitor at law,
I like “solicitor at law” because “lawyer at law” is redundant at law.
I am soliciting
You don’t say. Execute your job title perfectly much?*
*I realize I am knee deep in a “much?” phase, and a justifiable counter would be: “Much much?” Please forgive me; I’ll snap out of it soon.
Your consent to stand a s a next of kin to my client Mr. Ramos who bears the same last name with you,
This solicitor AT LA…

Facebook meme of the week

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I WONDER TOO ELMO
NOBODY SAYS HELLO TO INANIMATE MEMES FEATURING CHILDREN’S SHOW PUPPETS ANYMORE
IT’S LIKE GET OFF YOUR VIDEO GAMES AND SAY HELLO TO THIS ASEXUAL FURRY THING YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS
ANYWAY THIS IS A GRAND SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT AMONG SANE ADULTS
HOW DOES THIS WORK WE JUST SAY HELLO RIGHT
OK


PLAN BABY SHOWERS WAY TOO FAR IN ADVANCE MUCH?


ELMO NEVER SAID HE (?) LOVED YOU DON’T PUT WORDS IN ELMO’S MOUTH


I DON’T NORMALLY RECOMMEND PUTTING FACEBOOK COMMENTS ON RESUMES BUT THIS IS TOO WELL-CRAFTED AND HILARIOUS NOT TO


THIS IS NOT A GOSH DANG CONVERSATION TIM KNAPP AND ALSO: [SIC]
YOU HAD ONE JOB


SECURITY!
THIS IS CLASSIC NICHOLAS OG NICKYB BYSTRON, SOCIAL MEDIA GADFLY


CONGRATULATIONS STEVE ON MANAGING A TYPO WITHIN A TWO-WORD COMMENT THAT DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS ON AN ELMO FACEBOOK MEME. SOMETHING TO TELL YOUR GRANDKIDS ABOUT.*


EVERYONE STOP SNICKERING THERE ARE NO DUMB QUESTIONS ON THIS ELMO MEME
JULIO COULD YOU PLEASE REPHRASE THE QUESTION IN ENGLISH


DAMMIT JULI…

Facebook meme of the week

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THIS MEME IS DOPE AS HELL EXCEPT:
-Dropped Nov. 11 -“Santa” -“self-cleaning” -“Thank you” -Christmas tree and presents are hilariously Photo-Shopped in. -Pretty sure Jon cleans the house, not Garfield. -Literally every single comment

NOPE

I THINK YOU CALLED THE WRONG MEME

IRRELEVANT BUT OK I WILL JOIN I GUESS J/K LOL GO GIANTS

STOP SEXUALIZING GARFIELD PLEASE

ALMOST

“YOU’RE WELCOME BRITTANI I BASICALLY SAVED YOUR STUPID COMPANY ON THIS GARFIELD MEME.” – MELISSA ANNE, MARKETING SPECIALIST

“WHAT ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE FACEBOOK MEME COMMENTS LOL” – SANTA

OMG WHO IS GOING TO TELL JUDY ABOUT SANTA

“DANG GIRL AND WHaT YOU NEEDS IS TO NOT TYPE WITH YOUR THUMBS AND ALSO STFU” – PAM

THANK YOU CHRISTINE
EVERYONE, CHRISTINE GUNDERSON SHOULD BE IN HER NEW APARTMENT SOON
FYI

WELL SAID VICKI
THIS MEME IS FOR THE TROOPS

Facebook meme of the week

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HELLO MY NAME IS TURKEY AND I AM HERE FOR THE TURKEY SLAUGHTER
WAIT A SECOND THEY ARE GOING TO PUT STUFFING UP MY BUTT AFTER I AM SLAUGHTERED
THAT’S JUST TOO FAR
I CAME HERE TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN DIGNITY BUT NOW I AM GOING TO LEAVE

STOP RUINING THIS HILARIOUS MEME WITH YOUR TURKEY ENEMA STORIES TAYLOR
IT’S LIKE WHO HASN’T WORKED IN TURKEY FACTORY BEFORE, WE ALL KNOW THE DEAL OK?
WHAT HAPPENS AT TURKEY FACTORY ETC ETC

WHAT

WHAT
OMG IF I WERE GIVEN A FINITE NUMBER OF "WHAT"S TO USE IN LIFE I WOULD BLOW THEM ALL IN RESPONSE TO THIS COMMENT

JAMES DOESN’T NEED A WHOLE TURKEY BECAUSE HE LIVES ALONE L
THIS IS A DECENT EHARMONY POST
LIKES: ROCK CORNISH HENS, HILARIOUS FACEBOOK MEMES
DISLIKES: DRY-ASS TURKEY SANDWICHES, CHICKS WITH KIDS – KEEP WALKIN’

DAMMIT BONNIE YOU CROSSED THE LINE OF GOOD TASTE
I'M SURE THE DAUGHTER FEATURED IN YOUR PROFILE PIC SAW THIS COMMENT AND WAS SUPER PROUD
WHO IS THE ANIMAL NOW, BONNIE
WHO IS THE ANIMAL NOW

NAILED IT

“HOLD MY CALLS – I HAVE TO COMME…