Friday, July 28, 2006

Classic card of the week

Kenny Rogers, 1994 Upper Deck

Kenny Rogers didn’t always hate cameramen. In fact, back in 1993, he would even sit for a few minutes and pose for a shot. Ya’ know, to make the job of the cameraman just a little bit easier. He was that kind of guy in 1993. No, seriously - he was! This particular pose is called the “I’m Just Happy to Be Here – Make Sure You Get My Mullet” pose. Very popular at the time. Of course, this was eventually replaced by the “Get the $#@! Out of My Face Before I Stick That Camera Up Your Ass” pose, which was slightly less popular among the cameramen community (population: 12). You can tell by his face that Kenny Rogers has no idea he’s about to go to the Yankees for two straight years of sub par pitching. Look – he’s clueless! You’ve been punk’d, Kenny Rogers! Ha, ha! Actually, wait – we’ve been punk’d. Whatever. Kenny Rogers also has very large eyebrows, but they remain excellently groomed, as you can see. Legend has it that Rogers had to comb his ‘brows with the infield rake in between innings, or else they would get all bushy and crap, and stuff would get caught in them, like hot dog wrappers. I don’t know, that’s just what I heard. Anyway, after this picture was taken, Kenny Rogers kicked the cameraman in the nuts, spit on him, and screamed, “I said get the mullet, you @#$hole!” Then he went to the bullpen to warm up. He didn’t care. True story.

Did you know?
I made up that last story.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

John Sterling update: Still not very good

Last summer, I detailed the inadequacies of John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, the fumbling radio broadcasting team of the New York Yankees. Since last season was their first together, and because I’m a nice guy, I thought I was pretty diplomatic in my assertion. I detailed the positives and negatives of both. In fact, here’s a short recap:

Positives: good voice
Negatives: everything else

Positives: not nearly as exhausting as Sterling
Negatives: bad voice, virtually nonexistent

So, yeah…that was basically it. But now it’s one year later and honestly, I can’t take it anymore. Forget about Waldman – she’s just a necessary evil in the booth/world of John Sterling, as evidenced by his innate ability to simply ignore her, or, to casually yet condescendingly disagree with her. Whatever. My beef here is with Sterling. I mean, how many more seasons do we Yankee fans have to endure with this guy? Seriously? How many?

With that in mind, let’s take a deeper look at the reasons behind my annual summers of discontent when it comes to listening to Yankee games on the radio. And, just for the heck of it, let’s run this picture again:

John Sterling can never let anything just be. If it’s a sunny day, it’s “the most beautiful day you can possibly imagine,” or “a great day to be alive.” If the ballpark is full (and when isn’t it?) it inevitably leads to an incessant monologue about how amazing it is that so many people came to watch the Yankees – I mean, fifty-five thousand people!…On a Wednesday afternoon, no less! It’s just amazing. Simply amazing. And what a beautiful day… Ughhh.

I could even deal with that if it weren’t for the fact that Sterling cannot let the actual game stand on its own. If the Yankees win in the bottom of the ninth – regardless if it’s only an April game against the Devil Rays – Sterling is ready to FedEx a copy of the game tape to the Hall of Fame immediately. WHAT a game! I mean, what a game! The Yankees win it in the bottom of the ninth in one of the greatest games you will see all season long – I guarantee you that! So it’s the Yankees 8, and the Devil Rays 7, in what they’ll probably refer to as “the Greatest Game Ever Played. We’ll be back with the clubhouse report after this…

Not to mention, individual performances (as long as they come from Yankees) are the stuff of legend. Sterling came as close to an on-air orgasm as possible when Melky Cabrera robbed Manny Ramirez of a home run back in early June, immediately referring to it as “the play of the year.” (Hold your horses, John. Did you see Gary Matthews Jr.’s catch? Of course you didn’t – he’s not a Yankee.) Three weeks ago, I was listening to the Yanks play the Indians, and Randy Johnson had not given up a hit going into the fifth inning, which prompted Sterling to declare that THIS start was one of the “three or four best of his career.” Whoa, whoa, WHOA! It’s the fifth inning, John! Calm down. And not only did Johnson go on to give up a hit that inning, he went on to give up three runs. It’s almost as if Sterling had totally neglected the prime of Johnson’s career, when he consistently tossed three-hit, complete-game shutouts. He was so excited to be watching Johnson (finally) pitching well as a Yankee, that he had to beat us over the head with it.

I cannot stress enough how much I despise this aspect of John Sterling’s announcing. We’re intelligent baseball fans. We know when we’re listening to a great game. We know when we’re listening to a moderately good game, and we know the difference. We know when it’s nice outside – we’re not cuddled up next to a radio in a dungeon somewhere. A great day, great performance, or great game can never speak for itself when John Sterling is around, because John Sterling feels compelled to speak for it.

John Sterling cannot see. We discussed last season’s now infamous call of a ball that miraculously went “off the wall, and…into the stands!” Yikes. But just last week, I heard this one (I won’t quote it because I cannot remember it verbatim): He takes a strike…and hits it into…center field, for a base hit. Wait, what? Did he hit it out of the catcher’s glove? How does someone “take a strike” and get a hit on the same pitch? I’m confused. Sometimes I think you can actually hear John Sterling squinting. Also, three weeks ago, Jorge Posada hit a pitch, and this ensued: Jorge CORKS one, to DEEP center field!…It’s BACK, it’s a-WAY back!…Sizemore looks up…he’s at the track…makes the catch. Of course, this led to some rambling about how far the center field wall is at Jacobs Field, which is to say, it wasn’t Sterling’s fault that he messed up that call – it was the ballpark’s fault. Obviously. Which brings me to my next point…

John Sterling loves to say “obviously.” I mean, he really loves to say obviously. A quick sampling of fake quotes: “He doesn’t want to hit him with the pitch, obviously.” “The Yankees need to score runs, obviously.” “Suzyn has no idea what she’s talking about, obviously.” “Farnsworth needs to throw strikes, obviously.” “Joe Torre is wearing pants tonight, obviously.” You would think that, at broadcasting school, there is some kind of rule that states: If you feel compelled to say “obviously” after making a statement, you probably shouldn’t even bother with the statement in the first place. I’ve never been to broadcasting school, but I think that’s pretty obvious. (By the way, after that paragraph, that word has currently lost all meaning.)

John Sterling has definitely unknowingly quoted “Anchorman.” There is no doubt in my mind that Sterling, upon meeting someone who had the audacity to not know him, has said, “I don’t how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” I’d put money on it.

John Sterling schills for the Yankees in a manner that is unprecedented in the realm of radio broadcasting. I don’t think I even need to go into detail about this. We all know - Torre is always right, Derek Jeter is the greatest player ever, other teams’ closers are mud underneath the spikes of Mariano Rivera (in fact, why do other teams even have closers?), Randy Johnson is one start away from “getting it” and is also very attractive, we should all be ashamed of ourselves for criticizing A-Rod, Bubba Crosby would be an all-star on another team, and so on and so forth. I bet he covers his ears whenever somebody mentions “Giambi” and “steroids” in the same sentence. It’s not only that he constantly praises the Yankees – he also has subtle ways of bashing the other team (except the Red Sox, a team he deems worthy of competing against the Yanks…way to go Boston!). I can distinctly remember him poking fun at the waist sizes of Sidney Ponson (while with Baltimore, of course) and Bartolo Colon in the past. If a mediocre pitcher is doing well against the Yanks, Sterling can’t hide his shock. Sometimes, I don’t even think he knows the players on the opposing team. During the Cleveland series, he combined Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner to form a player whom he described as “Grady Hafner.” (By the way, that is my third or fourth mention of the Cleveland series from a couple of weeks ago. Not Sterling’s finest work. Obviously. Okay, that word is back!)

The main reason I mention this is because, as a Yankee fan, it’s embarrassing. Sterling seems to encompass a nationwide perception of Yankee fans as pompous know-it-alls who care only about the Yankees, and who could care less about the rest of the baseball world. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I realize that Sterling is the radio broadcaster for the Yankees, and that he should lean their way, but his affection for the franchise is shameless, and his announcing is bereft of any objectivity whatsoever. (Sometimes when I’m listening to a game, all I can think about are those “Daaa Bears” SNL skits, and I picture four John Sterlings sitting around a table trying to decide what would happen if Derek Jeter faced Mariano Rivera.)

So yeah, all that is why I can’t stand listening to John Sterling. Plus all the other stuff I mentioned last year.

But on the other hand, he has a good voice. So it almost evens out.

Right, Suzyn?


Monday, July 24, 2006

Classic card of the week

Jacquez Green, 2000 Fleer

There are few things as artistic as the self-portrait in which the subject looks pensively forward, while another version of the subject plays football in the background. I think it was Picasso who said that. Whatever the case, Jacquez Green is gangsta. Straight up gangsta. Do you know another player who rocks the 100 percent cotton skullcap in the 90-degree Tampa heat? “Yeah, it be hot as a mo fo in TB, but it get cold as mo fo up in Philly. Ya’ heard?” Do you know another player who can kill someone on the other team just by looking at them? “Hey, do my contacts look alright? Bam – you’re dead. Fool.” Do you know another player who only wears the “breathe-right” strip as a means of stealing oxygen from the opposition? “Do I LOOK like I need help breathing? I just returned a punt 95 yards for a touchdown, and I held my breath the whole time, just for fun. Now go fetch my thigh pads, bitch.” Obviously, this card would have been even that much cooler (if you can imagine) if it was from, say, 1994, when similar skullcaps were actually in style. But that trend seemed to drop off after MC Hammer donned one in his comeback video, “Pumps and a Bump.” That was a great video, in which MC Hammer was trying to change his image from hilarious dancing fool to gangsta ass gangsta who always has a stable of scantily clad women by his pool, and also he will kill you. (Oddly enough, the image makeover failed spectacularly.) Anyway, this card is from 2000, so it appears Jacquez Green was rather late to the gangsta skullcap party. But hey – what do you expect from a French guy? They don’t know any better. Yo, Jacquez – where’s your matching Starter jacket? Ha, ha, ha, ha! I’m just joshing ya’, Jacquez. No, seriously man – I was just kidding! It was a joke! Stop looking at me like that!

Did you know?
Jacquez Green was sentenced to five years in prison for killing my fantasy team back in 2001.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Classic card of the week

*Special Friday edition
George Bell, 1989 Baseball Cards magazine

There are afros. There are jheri curls. And there are mullets. These are the facts of life. You pick one, and you stick with it. Well, back in 1988, George Bell said, “F#@* it. I’m going for all three.” Then, he threw in the mustache just for good measure. The results were obviously fantastic, but more importantly, this enabled George Bell to revolutionize the way baseball hats were worn. In the past, players wore hats for utilitarian reasons (i.e., to keep the sun out of their eyes, to shield them from Pterodactyls, and to cover up the effects of baldness). George Bell disagreed. Bell decided to wear his hat more like a yarmulke, so as not to disturb any of the jheri curl-ed goodness that was happening underneath. Style over substance was George Bell’s motto. (Please notice how the sun is definitely in his eyes. Look at him – does he care? He doesn’t care.) And if the hat should fly off while running after a ball headed into the gap, so the hell what? It would make for good theatre, plus give the fans what they came to see in the first place – a full, up-close look at the world’s finest afro jheri curl mullet. Of course, that’s not even the best part of the card. Notice my excellent command of the scissors as I was cutting this out of whatever cardboard monstrosity it originally appeared in. Keep in mind how I obsessed as a kid whether or not a card was in “mint condition,” yet this butchering cut-job somehow made it into my collection. Did I think I did a good job? I cut off his name for crying out loud. I was 10 years old at the time, and it looks like a three-year old cut this out. Whatever. I also enjoy how George Bell’s face is inside of a circle, like at the end of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Th-th-th-th-th-that’s ALL, bitches.

Did you know?
The back of this card states that George Bell stole a career high 15 bases in 1988, but says he only stole four that year. Somebody is lying. I’m leaning towards this card as the liar, especially since says that Bell had 21 SBs in 1985, meaning that 15 wouldn’t even be a career-high. This card is full of shit.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A love story starring Tiger Woods

Announcer No. 1: Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2006 British Open here on TNT! I’m your host, Tigerlover43, and next to me here is my partner, Woodsrules89. We’re using our AOL names for these next two days because names like “John” and “Bob” are just plain boring, and do little to represent our affection for the best golfer to ever to walk the face of the earth ever. And without further ado, let’s get down to business here. Woodsrules, you saw Tiger yesterday during his practice round. How did he look?

Announcer No. 2: Vintage Tiger, Tigerlover. He looked so calm out there. I lost count after the first few holes, but I’m pretty sure he had eight holes-in-one. That’s gotta be like, a record or something. The competition better watch out!

Announcer No. 1: No doubt about that. Speaking of Tiger, here he is on the first tee. He nails his driver…Wow!…That shot must have been 400 yards! What power! It’s a little to the left…into the gallery actually…and it appears as though someone’s been hit in the head. Yeah, somebody has definitely been hit. Lot of blood…the ambulance has arrived. My guess is that Tiger probably meant to do that. I’m sure he never liked that guy.

Announcer No. 2: He might be a relative of one of Tiger’s competitors. I think Tiger Woods just sent out a message to the rest of the guys here at the Open, and that message was: I’m Tiger Woods, and I’m here to win this thing, and I WILL crush whoever gets in the way of my balls. I mean, I feel bad for the guy, but he should have known better than to mess with Tiger Woods.

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Announcer No. 1: Okay, we’re back here at the 2006 British Open on the thirteenth hole. Tiger is now seven shots back of the leader, some guy. Here he is on his approach shot…a beautiful shot…it’s in the water. Tiger does not look happy. Horrible job by Tiger’s caddie, who’s just standing there like an idiot. Tiger is cursing him out – as well he should be. Hey – remember when Tiger won this thing last year, Woodsrules?

Announcer No. 2: How can I forget? What a thing of beauty. As far as I’m concerned, Tiger wins this tournament every year.

Announcer No. 1: He sure does. Now let’s go down to the 18th, where our colleague is following the action as Sergio Garcia putts for birdie.

Announcer No. 2: Wait, wait! Ya’ know what, let’s just stay here. Sergio’s not winning this thing – I think we all know that. Hey Jim – can we stay here? Yeah? Alright, we’re staying put.

Announcer No. 1: Nice call, Woodsrules. Nobody really wants to watch other golfers anyway, am I right? Of course I’m right. Here’s Tiger for par…ohhhh…his putt misses left, sitting him now eight shots back of the lead. The greens are just NOT fair today.

Announcer No. 2: They’re not, Tigerlover. All this “tigerproofing” of courses is really causing Woods to miss putts that he usually makes with his eyes closed. I hope these other golfers can sleep at night knowing that the PGA is basically trying to hand them tour victories. On the bright side, Tiger is only eight shots back, leaving him in prime position to win this thing on Sunday, if he makes the cut. If I’m a golfer on that leader board right now, I do NOT want to look behind me. I might get eaten by a Tiger.

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Mike Tirico: Good morning everyone, and welcome to Royal Liverpool, site of the 2006 British Open, where Tiger Woods sits just 10 shots back of the lead. Curtis, I’ll ask you what everybody in the world is asking themselves this morning – what does Tiger have to do to win this thing?

Curtis Strange: Just keep doing what he’s doing, Mike. Eventually, the other golfers will fold under the pressure of Tiger Woods, leaving the door open for his 11th major victory.

Tirico: That is excellent analysis. Let’s check in on Tiger now, as he tees off today on his quest for an 11th major. He’s got the driver…it’s a gorgeous tee shot…and it lands right smack in the middle of the fairway. Just an unbelievable shot by Tiger right there.

Strange: There aren’t too many golfers on tour that can hit the fairway like that right off the tee.

Tirico: I should also mention that Tiger looks spectacular today in his hunter green Nike vest, and white collared Nike shirt. Of course, he won’t be wearing his famous red ensemble until tomorrow, Sunday, when he’ll undoubtedly be hoisting up another huge trophy, as his wife looks on. His wife is hot, Curtis.

Strange: Totally hot.

Tirico: He’s a lucky guy. Actually, I should say, she’s a lucky girl. I mean, no one would know who the heck she was if it weren’t for Tiger, ya’ know? I mean yeah, she’s good-looking and all, but I could walk down the street and find a good-looking girl. He’s Tiger freakin’ Woods!

Strange: You’re right, Mike. I mean, who is she? She’s got as many majors as Sergio Garcia.

Tirico: Wow, wow, wow, Curtis. Wow! That was a zinger. High five. No seriously, high five.

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Tirico: Welcome all to this rather sad day here at the British Open, where the top story is, “Tiger Woods: Probably not gonna win this thing.” Tiger is already about to finish up his last round of the Open, and if he can make this par putt, he will enter the clubhouse at +4, a full 12 strokes off the lead. It seems incomprehensible that Tiger Woods will not win the British Open. Is it even possible? Curtis, I turn to you…

Strange: Ya’ know Mike, I’m not going to count out Tiger just yet. The leader of this tournament, that Vijay guy, is infamous for playing inconsistent and oftentimes “wacky” golf come Sunday. If he and the other 29 golfers ahead of Woods on the leader board double-bogey every hole, then Tiger still has a shot at this thing.

(Three hours later)

Tirico: And with that 20-foot putt, Vijay Singh wins the 2006 British Open, defeating Ernie Els by a single stroke. A scintillating finish made mundane by the obvious absence of Tiger Woods, who could only watch the action from his Buick Skylark. Let’s go down to the eighteenth green now, where Lisa Salter is with our new champion. Lisa?…

Salter: Thanks, Mike. I’m here with Vijay Singh, 2006 British Open champ. Vijay, does the fact that Tiger Woods could not really get it going during this tournament cheapen your victory at all?

Vijay: Ummm, no. Not really. I mean, I just won the British Open. I just barely defeated a fabulous golfer in Ernie Els to capture my fourth major. If anything, that question just cheapened my victory.

Salter: What do you think Tiger was doing wrong this weekend? Was it his swing, or more mental?

Vijay: I don’t really care what Tiger was doing wrong. I just won the freakin’ British Open! Do you have any questions about me? Do you see this trophy? It has MY name it! Right he…hey, wait a second…this trophy is engraved with Tiger Woods’ name! What the heck is going on here?!

Salter: A spectacular day at Royal Liverpool after all, Mike. Back to you…

Tirico: Thanks Lisa. That does it for us. For continuing coverage of Tiger Woods’ amazing weekend, tune into the Golf Channel, where they’ll have expert, shot-by-shot analysis of Tiger’s courageous effort. For all of us here at ABC, we thank you for watching. We leave you with some footage of Tiger Woods’ British Open victory last year, when all was right with the world. I'm Mike Tirico. Holla.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Classic card of the week

Cleveland Gary, 1991 Pro Line (Portraits series)

This is Cleveland Gary, and he’s going to be on the “skins” team, okay? You got a problem with that? I didn’t think so. Cleveland lists his interests, in order, as “working out, grooming his mustache, working out, messin’ with some *#@*$!, and all types of ill &@*!.” Though many professional athletes from Scottie Pippen to John Starks have been credited with the trend, it was actually Cleveland Gary who revolutionized the early 90’s wave of wearing spandex under your shorts, except that the spandex is much longer than the actual shorts. It was shocking when that trend expired. Also, if you can’t tell from the picture, Cleveland Gary did not play for the Cleveland Garys – he played for the Rams. Apparently. I mean, that’s what it says on the back. Also on the back are some helpful hints from Cleveland. Ya’ know, for the kids. “So each Sunday you have to be prepared – there’s no half-stepping.” (Big Daddy Kane would later say, “Only Cleveland would put a ‘g’ at the end of half-steppin’.”) Anyway, Cleveland Gary had, ironically, half-stepped his way out of the NFL by 1994, when he refused to put a shirt on for the opening coin toss. (He also reportedly chose “pecks” instead of heads or tails.)

Did you know?
Cleveland Gary is so strong that steroids take him.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Classic card of the week

*Special Friday edition
Mike Tresemer, 1989 Star

I am 100 percent certain that, with the possible exception of one Mike Tresemer, I am the only person on the planet in possession of this card. And honestly, I have no idea where this thing came from. It’s not a “classic card” in the sense that people are at least mildly familiar with the player. Or the team. Or the brand of card. Or anything really. But there is a great mustache, and a surplus of the color blue, and that’s gotta count for something. In fact, I’m not even sure this is a real baseball card. For starters, Mike Tresemer, according to the card, is a pitcher, yet, he is holding a baseball bat. “This is me getting ready to bunt.” Also, Tresemer appears to be a member of a team called the Memphis Chicks, which would seem like quite an effeminate name for a baseball team, especially one that features at least one great ‘stache. But upon further inspection, the “Chicks” were short for “Chickadees,” which was the name of a Native American tribe. I’m sure the Native Americans were proud. “Okay, listen – here’s the deal. We’ll take Memphis, but your memory will live on in the form of a Double-A baseball team. Sound good? Here’s a Mike Tresemer card. Try not to smoke it.” The back of the card also specifies that Tresemer spent part of 1988 playing for Baseball City, where he went 7-2 with a 2.14 ERA. He then moved on to Home Run Town, and later Baseballville, where he was equally as dominant. The “Star” in the upper right hand corner is apparently the brand of the card. The Star Company specialized in creating minor league baseball cards that nobody bought because they featured players who never made it to the major leagues because they sucked. Actually, the more I look at this card, the less I’m convinced that it’s real. I’m thinking someone from my dad’s company softball team back in the day went to the Brunswick Square Mall and had this done, and it somehow ended up in my box of old cards. It probably says “Lovers” on the back of the jersey. Yeah – the Mobil Chicks-Lovers. That sounds about right. And it’s much less offensive. Sort of.

Did you know?
The last “R” in “Tresemer” is silent, and his clubhouse mustache grooming tactics eventually led to the popular line of Treseme hair-care products.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Classic card of the week

Car 26 Quaker State, 1991 Pro Set

We break from our usual “classic card” baseball theme to bring you, quite possibly, the most action-packed card ever made. This one, entitled “Car,” was the most popular card to ever come out of the Pro Set Racing Series, which is saying a lot, because a year later they would release a card where you could almost make out who the driver was. (It kind of looked like Samuel L. Jackson, but I don’t think it was.) It’s difficult to determine from the card whether “car” is a) beating the crap out of everyone, b) in dead last place, or c) running a practice lap. But one thing’s for sure – it’s got a mean front spoiler. The mindset behind the Pro Set Racing Series was simple: If there’s anything – anything – more exciting than getting drunk and watching a car drive around a track 2,000 times, it’s not getting drunk and staring at a still photo of a car driving around a track 2,000 times. And I have to admit - I was totally into the racing card circuit for a while, until I got screwed over in the summer of 1987. Basically, I made the mistake of trading a rookie year Quaker State green car for a second-year Napa Auto Parts red car. I know, I know…dumb move on my part. Napa Auto Parts red car went on to win the Triple Crown that year, and Quaker State green car busted up its ACL down at Daytona. Live and learn, I guess. Anyway, if you’re interested in checking out the guys behind the beauty pictured above, check out the back of the card, pictured below. Three mullets + three pairs of Blue Blockers = one fast &*^%% car. That’s all I’m saying.

Did you know?“Car” won the ESPY in 1991 for “Best Fuel Gage.”

Monday, July 03, 2006

Classic card of the week

Paul Coleman, 1990 Topps

Sweet! A Bo Jackson rookie card! Wait…what’s that you say? That’s NOT Bo Jackson! What the crap are you talking about?! Well, upon further inspection, you may be correct. For example, Bo Jackson would never pose in front of his high school for a baseball card photo; he would be too busy doing Bo Jackson-type things on various fields of play, like making diving outfield catches while wearing a football helmet because he forgot to take his helmet off after a game in which he scored eight touchdowns. Take a picture of THAT, bitch! Secondly, Bo Jackson wouldn’t be using an aluminum bat, because if he ever did, we would already have our first recorded 1,000-foot home run. This dude is Paul Coleman, who, as the card specifies, is “built along the lines of Royals’ Bo Jackson.” Hey, no shit. But that’s not all. Paul is SO Bo Jackson, it’s not even funny. He’s noted for his “prodigious 500-foot home runs,” “holds the Texas state pitching record of 21 strikeouts in one game,” and “rushed for 1,000 yards in a season twice.” Of course, many around baseball hold onto the conspiracy theory that Paul Coleman WAS Bo Jackson, as neither were ever seen in the same room at the same time. To throw off the haters, Coleman listed Ozzie Smith among his favorite ballplayers because, as Coleman said at the time, “the similarities are endless.” He then went on to say, “and Bo knows similarities. Wait, did I just say that?”

Did you know?
The famous Nike poster of a bare-chested Bo Jackson wearing shoulder pads and holding a baseball bat was manufactured twice – 20,000 posters were Bo Jackson and 500 were actually Paul Coleman. You know if you have the Paul Coleman one because he has three nipples. (Bo Jackson has four.)